My boyfriend (35M) of 9 months decided to tell me he had not made plans and does not have a time-line for us, after telling me the opposite for months and now I'm (33f) hurt and lost on what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

I started dating this guy back in Dec of last year. We have worked through a lot and its not been the easiest but I love him and see so much potential for us. The problem is he is a terrible communicator and I keep finding out that he back slides on what he says. I feel confused about our relationship often because of this and I feel like thats a huge red flag.

For months he talked about our future saying he had plans for us and wanted a future with me. Made comments about living together next year and being engaged when we did and so on. We have had all those talks. But a few weeks ago he said he has not even thought of it and has no plans. That completely threw me off. I asked about where he would want to rent a place when all this came up. So thats been hard. He said he wanted to give it a few weeks and gave me a few reasons why he felt that way. He said he still has issues with his Ex but I am nothing like her. He also said he needs his time and his activities. I never stop him from those and always work around his schedule. So that hurt.

He told me recently that he never made plans and he is scared and does not have a time-line. I love this guy more than anyone I've been with. He said I have a bigger heart than him and although I've been through more trauma than him, he is scared of moving forward next year. I'm at a point that I want a future with someone, I've been through a lot but I have a lot of love to give and want to be with someone in life. I am scared if I stay in a relationship with this guy, that he will keep dragging me along and I'll hold out hope and nothing will happen. I got my hopes up with moving in with him next spring because of all the things he told me. We have crazy schedules and he never stays over and its hard for me to stay over at his place so I was honestly excited about having more time with him more than anything. I was not trying to push for marriage right away. Just being closer to him.

TLDR: boyfriend puts himself first often, can be selfish, says he does nor want to be vulnerable with me, changing tune, and not communicating when things come up. He is a kind man and has a lot of good qualities, says he loves me and I love him, seems to want to work on things when they come up. But after a few things that have happened this year and now him telling me he does not have a time-line or plan for our future together, I worry I'm being led on. Should I wait until next year and see if he feels differently, or end it now before it becomes even more difficult to end it next year?

Submitted August 26, 2020 at 08:49AM by AngryUnicorn86 https://ift.tt/34CMmvC