The title sounds bad, but please let me explain.
My 10 year old son has been super moody and emotional for the past couple weeks. He's been a pretty big terror to be around. Slamming doors, taking attitude, he's just not fun to hang out with anymore. My husband and I have tried everything we could think of. Enacting new punishments, rewards, not yelling at him, so on and so forth. We are at our wit's end and have no idea what to do anymore.
Well, about an hour ago my son came home crying. I had to pry a little bit because he very much likes his privacy at this point (and I respect that), but he is still my son and I need to know if something major is happening in his life so I can try to help him. He then proceeds to tell me that a bunch of kids at school found out he likes a boy in his class and they're now calling him weird. This is complete news to me.
Side note: I am incredibly accepting and I really don't care if he is gay. I want him to be him no matter what. He said that he was afraid to tell us because he didn't want us to make it weird or think of him differently. I told him I understand how he could feel that way, but I did not care that he was gay and I love him just the same as I did yesterday. I tried to clarify a few things (because I know kids around his age can sometimes get confused). I asked him if he liked boys and girls and he said he only likes boys. I then asked him if this was his first crush and he said there have been some other boys he liked. So that kind of confirmed things for me.
I feel so bad because I know that kids that go through this at this age have it really tough, and I don't want his childhood to be any harder than it already is. But I am proud of him for telling me and not feeling ashamed about it.
So my main problem is that he has just been getting interested in church and he was recently baptized. (My husband and I are both agnostic but we want all of our children to believe what they want to believe and have not influenced them in any way regarding religion). But I do know how Christians feel about homosexuality (not all of them, obviously, but for the most part they believe homosexuality is a sin). I do NOT want my son to hide his true self as I believe that this will hinder his growth and can really damage his self-image. But I also don't want the people at church judging him for this and hurting his belief in God and other Christians.
I guess I'm asking a couple questions:
- How do I approach religion with him? Do I just come out and let him know what the bible says about homosexuality or just ignore it and let him figure it out?
- Do we tell his grandfather (who is super religious, a venerable member of my son's church, and who has said on more than one occasion his feelings about homosexuality prior to this)?
- How do I deal with the school situation? I don't know if it has gotten to the point of bullying yet or if it has just been one kid saying "that's weird" and my son taking it hard.
I know this is a lot and any insight would be super helpful to ease this transition for my boy. Thank you in advance.
If you need any clarification, I will try my best to respond to all questions
TL;DR: My son came out as gay and I am wondering how to deal with the issue of his new found church given christianity's beliefs on homosexuality.
Submitted March 02, 2020 at 01:24PM by And_Love_Said_No https://ift.tt/2VCM6Z1
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