Spoiler: there is not still hope.
I didn't get much last time but I need to put this in words I guess so here's an update. I obviously had made the decision prior to the reddit post to move out. My house wasn't (and still won't be til next week) finished. I was still wanting to work on a relationship but in reality there isn't much of a future if you cant agree on major things like living arrangements and disciplinary actions for kids. I pressed on, because I did (probably still do) love this man, therefore reaching out to reddit in hope's that someone would reassure me that their relationship grew after separating households.
Well, the other night my son (3) was taking a bath with my bfs son (2 almost 3). He had them very riled up, playing in the bath, allowing him to scream, splash, etc. Well it hasn't been diagnosed im almost certain my son has ADHD, his behaviors are textbook and I know because I grew up with a brother who has adhd. I havent been able to get a diagnoses yet, as I live in an area 3 hrs away from the nearest facility and they dont generally diagnose this young. Anyways, my son refused to get out of the bath. He was having fun and he gets very defiant, he has a one track mind and sometimes you just have to back off or he will lose it. Bf decided the best course of action was the remove him from the bath. My son was upset so he took my bfs phone off the vanity and tossed it. It landed in the water. My bf was furious, my son laughed. My bf (oh yeah ex) grabbed him by one wrist ran him down the hallway, yelled at me about what just went down (recovering from strep and brushing my daughters hair). I was pretty elated that he grabbed my child like that and didnt have the capacity to discipline my child because I was distracted by my exs fit (running back out throwing and kicking a set of tables and chairs) and eventually storming back in to yell at me, in front of 4 children about my inability to parent my child, "no spanking? No timeout?" I literally had no time to discipline him, and i felt being dragged by a full grown man screaming and shouting at him was punishment enough. He was in tears (And it takes a lot to make this boy scared). We persisted to fight the rest of the night until I finally decided to sleep with my children at their bed time.
He kept the fight into the morning and I told him I was done and that I see no future with him anymore. He left for work, I was still off work with strep. His phone "didnt work" (think it's a lie because it magically works now) so I decided to leave a note to tell him I was safe but I wouldn't be coming home that night. Well in the middle of drafting this he came home on his lunch hour. He apologized and was embarrassed and said he would stay out of me and my childrens areas I'd the house until my house is ready.
One week before I can move. I am so ready to be gone. This whole thing sucks. I'm embarrassed I subjected my kids to this, I'm embarrassed I fell in love with him. I have alot of self blame right now, but I know I'm making the right move.
So there's my update. I hope this can help someone who sees the red flags but cant quite let them go yet.
Tl;dr: son threw my boyfriend's phone in water, bf threw a absolute tantrum and grabbed my kid by the wrist and screamed at me and my kids in front of the whole house. I broke up with him.
Submitted February 06, 2020 at 02:12PM by ChuckYouFarleigh https://ift.tt/31whjhH
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