I know it’s sort of strange for me to post about someone else’s relationship problems, but I care about her so much and when she asks for advice I’m not sure what to say. So my mom has been dating this man for 3 years. She has been through 2 marriages- the first physically abusive, and the second (my dad) being emotionally abusive and cheated on her. Her current boyfriend treats her so amazing and makes her so happy- I seriously have never seen her light up like she does around him. They are perfect for each other. Match made in heaven. Except one issue- he comes with a TON of baggage. He has a very rough past; he was emotionally abused by his mother, and both of his parents died when he was young (he literally has no family). He’s a felon- he forged government documents so he could get paid as a private contractor and be a firefighter (the whole thing is sort of confusing). After he did that, he was all over the news, it caused a lot of stress to his ex wife and their children and she left him. Here’s where it starts getting weird. My mom finally decides she’s going to break the news to my grandparents that her boyfriend is a felon. She wanted to feel 100% sure that she knew all the information and could feel good about defending him, so she pulled his public file to read about the case. I forget how she got there, but she learned that he is renting the apartment of his financial advisor. He told her he owned the apartment. She looks up the financial advisor on Facebook, and sees her posing with “his daughter’s” dog, as if it’s hers. He has told our whole family this entire story about how his daughter is in the military and she can’t take care of her dog, so he basically takes care of it. He was even considering giving the dog to my grandparents, but his “daughter” decided she didn’t want to. The whole thing is just very disturbing, because he’s lied to all our faces for years over something so random. She confronts him, and he has a bunch of excuses. In terms of the apartment, he says he didn’t want it under his name in case his assets are seized (i don’t know much about that, sorry if that’s little info). In terms of the dog, he claims because she was cheated on by my dad, he didn’t want to worry her over his platonic friendship. It’s all very bizarre: he also is begging her to move on and get over it. Not being sympathetic at all. She’s going crazy over it- she even called the college he claimed he went to and they said they have no record of him going there. Last but not least, she asks him if she can see his financial papers. One of the biggest issue she has with the distrust is that if she moves in with/marries him, she will stop getting alimony payments from my dad. She doesn’t make enough on her own to support herself. She wants to know he’s actually financially secure before she makes a huge commitment. Her boyfriend refuses to show her them unless she marries him. Isn’t that such a weird request? Basically saying “i need you to blindly trust me, and then after that i’ll prove to you that you can trust me”. What do you guys think about all of this?
TD;LR: My mom doesn’t know if she can continue a relationship with her boyfriend because he lied about owning his apartment and owning his dog.
Submitted February 22, 2020 at 02:10PM by kist04 https://ift.tt/3c1zD6Y
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