My husband [32M] got a DUI last night. I [25F] picked him up a few hours ago. Since then he has been practically begging me to tell him it is all going to be okay, and I really just don't think it is.

Hi reddit. I'm really upset right now so please forgive me if I get all ramble.

My husband (together three years, married 9 months) and I are out of town right now. He had to go to a professional conference and asked if I wanted to join him, so I went. I haven't had much of a chance to see him since we have been here but it was still fun.

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Last night he called me and said he was going out with some of the guys from the conference. I told him I would see him when he got back. I woke up in the early morning hours and was a little concerned he still wasn't back, so I got dressed and went down to ask the desk agent at the hotel if he had seen my husband. The desk agent told me no one else had come in since much earlier in the night.

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I was getting worried so I decided to geo-track his phone. When I did, it came back at the [Redacted] County Detention Center.

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I flipped out and wound up calling the jail, they confirmed my husband had been arrested but would not tell me any more. I asked him if it was possible to come and bail him out, they told me I had to wait some amount of time for processing, but I would be able to do that. I wound up breaking down in tears in the lobby of the hotel. I must have looked pathetic, because the desk agent wound up bringing over a cup of coffee.

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When the time came I went to go out to our rental car and found it gone. It started to dawn on me that my husband must have taken it.

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After another breakdown, I got an uber over to the jail and was able to get my husband out. I was finally able to ask him what happened and he told me that he had a little too much to drink.

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I just looked at him and asked if he had gotten a DUI, and he said yes. I just covered my face.

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Oh and by the way, the rental car, that was paid for by his office? It's impounded. I have no idea how that is going to work or what it will mean for him.

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We ubered back to the hotel and neither one of us have been able to go to sleep. He has spent the last couple hours apologizing and asking me to tell him that it's going to be okay.

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But I can't. I have always said someone who drives intoxicated is a hard pass for me. I have no tolerance for that non-sense, and my husband knew that. To be honest I am considering looking for a lawyer when we get home.

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My husband asked me at some point begged me to tell him I am not leaving, and I told him I can't promise that right now. He freaked out a little and I've wound up going back down to the lobby because I really just can't deal with that right now.

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The more I think about what happened the more upset I'm getting and the more things I think of to work about. I don't know how much a DUI is going to wind up being, but I know it isn't cheap. What is going to happen when we mention to his boss that the rental car his company paid for is currently impounded because he was driving it drunk?

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And all else aside, I don't know if this is forgivable.

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I love him and I am sorry to see him this upset, but I can't promise him it is all going to be okay.

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Am I being too cold? I really am sorry to see him suffer. I am also madder at him than I ever have been.

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He wants me to promise I'm not going to leave but that might be a false promise.

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What can I do to reassure him without giving some false hope?

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Am I being wrong to not say it just to offer some consolation for now?

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TL;DR: Husband got a DUI. He wants me to promise Im not leaving him, but I don't think I can promise that. Am I wrong?

Submitted February 07, 2020 at 04:24AM by PleasantLemon9 https://ift.tt/2H5D528