My (F25) coworker (M40) has been giving me the silent treatment for over a month

My (F25) coworker (M40) has been giving me the silent treatment for over a month

I know I am telling this from my POV and am not providing the entire context of our dynamic, but:

A few weeks ago, my coworker (M40) who I was pretty friendly with texted me. We have had kind of an up and down friendship where, in the past, he has given me the silent treatment before when he was upset with me. The last time this happened, I asked him to, instead of giving me the silent treatment, tell me something was wrong so we could talk about it and sort it out. He said ok, and our friendship continued. Flash forward to this current incident, and my coworker and I were initally discussing an article for work. He immediately got pretty fired up about it, and I quickly stopped trying to argue because he started to put me down and insult me. At one point in the conversation, I tried to let him know that "I am happy to continue to discuss this with you, but please watch the way you're talking to me" to which he ignored and continued on with his argument. When that didn't work I tried to end the conversation by giving one-word answers, telling him he was right, and just generally trying to end it. To that, he told me to "not be like that" and continue to argue that he was just trying to expand my point of view.

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I was pretty hurt by the interaction and told him so. He preceded to negate what I was feeling, called me melodramatic, continued to argue his point, and continued to insult me. Eventually, I said "I really don't want to fight with you, but please stop putting me down" to which he told me that "he was sorry I felt that way" but he wasn't insulting me or hurting my feelings. I tried to express how I was feeling, turned off my phone, and went to bed. Flash forward to the next morning and I woke up with threatening messages from him at like 3:30 am:

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[3:28 AM, 1/26/2020] Are you drunk or just not entirely literate?

[3:29 AM, 1/26/2020] See now, that's an insult

[3:29 AM, 1/26/2020] If someone says you're shoes are ugly, that's not the same as saying you're ugly.

[3:30 AM, 1/26/2020] There argument that a problem can be solved by ignoring it is delusional.

[3:32 AM, 1/26/2020] Spoiled 1%er brats telling their professors what that are allowed to teach is entitled and privledged.

[3:32 AM, 1/26/2020] J Your decision to associate yourself with either one of those things is your own.

[3:39 AM, 1/26/2020] Now if I were you, I'd take the hint and back off before you find out what condescension, insults, and attacks on your character flaws actually look like because since I apparently didn't make myself clear earlier, this conversation is over.

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I had had enough at this point and, (although I don't think it was the right response, I also don't regret it) told him: Fuck you X. As a result, he has essentially pretended that I don't exist for an entire month to the point of refusing to make eye contact with me, going out of his way to avoid me or avoid sitting near me, getting up from conversation I'm participating in, and avoiding talking to my friends unless I am not around. There was even a point where he avoided sitting with his family if I was sitting with him. I'm relatively good friends with his wife and while I haven't brought up the interaction with her, she doesn't seem to know what's going on (or is really good at pretending that she doesn't know).

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One thing I will note is that the last time this happened I was the one to eventually reach out first to talk. I haven't reached out this time and, in response to his silent treatment, have kind of just been ignoring him back and taking my space. However, because we work together, his avoidance of me is making me really uncomfortable and making the work environment very hostile.

Anyways, my questions are:

What should I do about this situation?

Why is he continuing to ignore me?

Is there a chance this will end (I don't really want to be friends anymore, but I do want to be able to work in peace)?

What are your general thoughts?

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TLDR: Coworker and I got into an argument where I felt he was being kind of abusive and I said fuck you. He has ignored me and pretended I don't exist for the last month.

Submitted February 22, 2020 at 08:58PM by trainspottingmilksha https://ift.tt/2T9DKoR