My [38f] Husband [42m] was extremely rude to a former student [late 20's] and a casual friend of mine. Im mortified about it and not sure the best way to fix things.

Okay, long story.

I teach in the history department of a state university. I have alot of students, most of them are just filling a requirement and we don't really know each other all that well.

But I get a few who I do really take to, and this individual was one of them. I'll call him Charlie. He was a dual major in education and history, and he was one of those students you see every now and then that makes you think "That one could do really well at this!"

He did. He sailed through our program with flying colors and graduated early, and he now teaches social studies at the high school where my own kids will likely go one day.

And we still have a professional relationship. He stops by campus every now and then to come by my office and chat about whatever he is teaching in his classes to share thoughts on it and refine his own lesson plans. I'm very flattered he thinks highly enough of me to do that, and it does make me feel quite confident that he will be teaching my own kids one day. He clearly takes his job very seriously and I'm glad to know him.

So last night...my husband (another professor here at the University) and I were on campus catching up on things and decided to go eat at a big hotel at the end of the main street of our campus. It has decent food and a good bar so we were looking forward to it.

When we pulled into the drive I saw Charlie come running out. Turns out he was working there as a valet. My husband recognized him as well. I was glad to see him and gave the sort of greeting you would expect for professional friends.

My husband just looked at him and asked why he was working here. Charlie told us his wife is in graduate school so he works shifts down here on weekends just to get a little extra cash for them.

I offered a little benign sympathy but my husband blurted out "Well I guess you should have stayed in school huh?" Charlie and I both looked at him because it seemed to come out of nowhere.

My husband seemed unfazed, and carried on "Just saying, when your wife finishes grad school she probably wont have to be a valet on weekends."

Charlie wasn't saying anything but seemed clearly offended. I just handed him the keys to the car so he'd have an excuse to walk away. As we went inside I told my husband "Well that was really rude!" My husband said something "Well he became a school teacher!"

I was really shocked with how he was acting. My husband isnt normally an ass like that. I asked what his deal was and he said something to the effect that maybe now Charlie will feel motivated to get a higher degree of his own.

The whole conversation was pissing me off as this is a former student and a professional friend I have alot of respect for, and I really did not appreciate my husband talking about him like that.

In the end we didnt see Charlie again but I left a big tip for him at the desk and we went home.

The more I think about it the madder I am. My husband sees nothing wrong with his comments and it is maddening talking to him about it.

Would it be worth sending Charlie an apology e mail or something? I'm horribly embarassed about what happened and I dont want to lose a beneficial professional relationship.

How would you have liked an apology to look if you were in his place?

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tl;dr: My husband made some very rude comments to a friend and former student and I am very embarassed by it. What is the best way to fix it?

Submitted February 02, 2020 at 03:39PM by ManyWatercress6 https://ift.tt/2OkxHw4