My [18f] mother [40sf] won’t let me go to a dentist that will sedate me due to a severe phobia-based anxiety. [LONG POST]

Since I was 6 I’ve had a violent and terrifying fear of dentists. It was mostly from cartoons showing them to be evil or cruel (Finding Nemo comes to mind). It doesn’t help I’m genetically predisposed to oral health issues and I have adhd, which made routine-building much harder. So I had a LOT of procedures as a kid, from a root canal to all four baby molars being pulled. Every procedure that wasn’t braces or teeth cleaning I was sedated with an inhalant (I called it laughing gas but I’ve been told that’s not what it is anymore). I have to have it because my anxiety manifests in crying and not being able to breathe.

I’ve been going to a dentist that is decorated to look like a little town. The dentists there are awesome because they’re trained for pediatrics as well so they know how to inject novocaine and make it actually not hurt. They also have movies playing on the ceiling so patients can look past the exam light and hands and see the picture clearly.

Recently my stepdad pushed me to go the “adult” dentist (even though the other one IS an adult dentist) because they’re closer. There they told me my meds are causing dry mouth which has led to fourteen cavities. I immediately got anxious because at this point I hear the drill every time I hear I have cavities, and I can almost taste the tooth dust. Then I ask if they do laughing gas (and get laughed at a little because “we don’t use that anymore”) and am told they don’t use any sedatives for cavity procedures, only pain killers. This is my limit.

I start begging my mom to let me go back to the other dentist because they use a sedative and I don’t want to have an anxiety attack in front of strangers because I’m not sedated. She’s refused, and now next week I’m getting six cavities or more drilled, in two BACK-TO-BACK appointments.

I keep asking her why and she keeps saying “you need to grow up” “I can just give you a pill for the anxiety” “it’s not gonna be that bad”. I told her “you’re not the one in the chair” and “do you want me to embarrass the both of us and cry in front of strangers?” and she said no but left it at that.

She pays for my dental insurance and because I was in a car accident she’s usually my ride.

I don’t know what to do. Is there anything I can do? Should I call the office behind my mother’s back and beg them for a sedative? Should I cancel the appointments without telling her even though I need them?

TL;DR: I have a violent phobia of dental procedures that causes anxiety attacks. My mom won’t let me go to a dentist that will sedate me so an anxiety attack won’t happen even though I’ll have to do two dental appointments one day after the other that will involve novocaine injections and lots of drilling.

EDIT: When I say sedation I do NOT mean general anesthesia. I’m talking about nitrous oxide (aka laughing gas). Apparently with pediatric dentists it’s common but as you’ve read here I’m not “allowed” to see one right now. I live in the US as well.

EDIT 2: I don’t know why they laughed at me when I asked for laughing gas. Someone was CLEARLY lying to me about it not being used anymore.

Submitted February 04, 2020 at 05:14PM by strangytie https://ift.tt/2ujW06K