I(20M) don't know how to handle the weird relationship with my roommate(22M). I met him few months ago.

Context: I'm a foreign student (East Asia) in a European university. My roommate is also a foreign student from an Arab country. We both have some difficulty to met friends or date girls, mainly due to a lack of social circles. We're both straight, I had a girlfriend in high school, he had a girlfriend back home (although he doesn't seem very committed to her). I never felt sexual attraction toward men.

After a couple months, my roommate started giving me playful slaps on my butts or jokingly complimenting me about my smooth skin or long hair ("Does your hairstylist know you're a guy?"). Inside jokes, nothing serious, I found this fun and nothing serious.

However, every day a little more physical. In the last weeks, I teased him walking around only with a shirt and underwear (male underwear). He caressed my ass or gave me a kiss on my shoulder or neck. I often sit on his lap for few minutes while checking my phone or when we're watching TV, I can feel he's an erection. Sometimes he caress my legs and kiss my shoulder/neck, or he plays with my hair. It's strange, but we never spoke about this.

When we're outside we don't do anything like this, we try to met girls and so on. I'm from a conservative family and I prefer to not think about what we do or I feel guilty. I'm pretty sure it's the same for him.

But yesterday it was different. He gifted me female underwear, jokingly said I could like that. I wear it while we both had a laugh. We went to the couch, and I laid across his lap looking at my phone, he caressed my butts while watching TV. After 10 minutes or so, I suddenly felt uncomfortable, like we went too far. I stood up and tried to confront him about what we're doing, but he said to not want to talk about this. He said I've ruined our fun time and we must stop doing this.

I'm very confused now. I never wanted to have sex with a man, I would be very ashamed if someone knew about our actions, but I'm also sad because I liked intimacy and physical contact. Being alone in a foreign country made me insecure. I'm shy,skinny and not very tall, on the other hand he's very tall and muscular, so I felt protected knowing he's on my side.

What makes me doubt about my sexuality is the fact I really enjoyed the sensation of him being aroused by my body. Knowing I'm able to gave pleasure to someone else reinforced my self-esteem, even if they're males.

What I dislike it's the feeling of him not respecting me. Once, while caressing me, he said more or less "I won't let a man doing this to me. No Arab man would do this, we're real men". However I told him to not say this kind of thing because it hurts me, and he never did it again. A small thing, I know, but it destroyed my idea our roles were this way only due to our very different body types, not a dominant/submissive thing.

I don't know if I should stop this, if I should confront him or if I should reconsider my sexuality.

TL,DR Me and my roommate, both straight guys in a foreign country having difficulties to make friends or dating girls, secretly had "sexual" physical contact. No sex, only caressing and the likes. I enjoyed giving pleasure to a guy and this makes me doubt my sexuality. I don't know if I should confront him about this, we never talked about our strange relationship.

Submitted February 01, 2020 at 02:39PM by yawaw0rht1 https://ift.tt/2GHMVY5