I (26f) don't know if I should tell my SO's mistress's husband that she's been having an affair on him for three years. (30s F/M)

Hi there,

I posted here yesterday about she shock I am in with finding out and how to move forward.

Basically, a couple of days ago an anonymous person sent me texts and pictures showing me that my SO of 7 years has been with another girl for 3 years and she's married. Also told me that he got her pregnant and she supposedly had an abortion. This information hasn't been verified but the other pictures were evidence that they were together. I know from the evidence they presented that this person is a friend of my SO's, it is NOT my SO or the side girl.

The hurt is horrible and I feel stupid about not leaving the first time he cheated/ It would have spared me years of time and heartbreak I'll never get back.

The problem I'm now facing is if it's my place to tell her husband or not. From the people I have spread this story with, I have been receiving both "you should" and "you should Not". I am stumped and don't know what to do. This is my list:

PROS:

-A compete stranger took the time and went through the effort to tell me that my SO was cheating on me for the last three years. I consider that stranger to be an angel since they did not have anything to gain or lose by telling me, it was the right thing to do.

-Because I now have that information and the choice to leave, and the freedom to find someone who should love me the right way, I should pass this gift on to him too, no matter how horrible it may be.

CONS:

-It probably won't help my healing in any way to tell him.

-If I found out eventually, he too will find out eventually.

-The anonymous person who told me (apparently they know me), can potentially find who her husband is and tell them too if they feel inclined.

-If her husband leaves her, then my now ex SO and this girl have nothing in the way of being together as an "official couple".

-It could be dangerous for whoever tells the husband. These people seem to have no boundaries.

I would love to hear any experiences or opinions you may have on wether the husband should know or not. I am completely stuck between the two and I don't know what to do. I hate having this weight on my shoulder while I'm trying to grieve. Thanks.

TLDR: A stranger exposed my now ex SO and his three year affair with a married woman. Should the married girls husband know about the affair too?

Submitted February 08, 2020 at 01:12PM by Puzzled-Support https://ift.tt/374NdTy