I (23F) upset my BF (35M) of 3 years by asking about valentines day plans. How do I get him to understand it's less about the holiday and more about spending time together before we see even less of each other?

My BF of 3 years has never spent valentine's day with me. It didn't bother me until last year when I didn't hear from him at all that day. This isn't unusual since we don't always talk everyday as we are both busy and independent people.

After not hearing from him once or getting a response last valentine's day, he texted me the following morning saying how he treated himself to two lobster tails alone since they were on sale and asked my to pick up some discount candy if I came across any. This really bothered me because it meant he didn't forget, he just decided not to text me. I never brought it up with him because it wasn't worth the fight.

Fast forward to last night and I asked if we could hang out tonight since I haven't seen him in about a week. He's been busy/stressing because he is in the process of closing on his first house. He told me he couldn't this Friday because it is his mom's bday. I told him to have fun and jokingly said "But I dibs you next Friday for valentine's day."

He didn't answer and changed the subject. This was the second time I asked about his plans for that day so I pressed a little harder and said "is there a reason you haven't said ok to valentine's day?"

His response was " I don't care about valentine's day, haven't since elementary school. Don't let it be important. Its stupid."

I got upset and said it was more about spending time together before his new house and he's even busier and has less time for our relationship. I said we could eat pizza on his couch and I'd be happy.

He ended the conversation with "Not trying to be mean just pushing it makes me crazy. Like i don't want to talk anymore tonite. Goodnight."

I get that he's stressed with his new house, but this really bothers me. We've had issues with communication in the past. How do I get him understand that his saying no to seeing me is more important to me than the actual holiday? Should I just drop it and accept that he will never be a holiday person?

Also, before people comment on our age difference please know that is not my concern. Both are friends and family get along fine and no one is worried about our ages.

TL;DR I upset my bf by asking about valentine's day and I don't know if I should drop it.

Edit: thank you to everyone responded. I want to point out that I know for 100% certainty I am not the side piece. I've met all his friends and his parents have been friends with mine for decades (though he and I didn't meet until I was 20). I think he might be cheating though and idk what to do about that. Again, thank you to everyone for your advice.

Submitted February 07, 2020 at 08:48AM by INeedToVent__ https://ift.tt/31zh0Cy