He's doing it to the kids now I think?
I'm starting to have a light bulb moment that my husband may be emotionally abusing me. I am trying to wade through what is my own codependency reactions and adult child of an alcoholic symptoms and what is actual fucked up bullshit.
Last night we had a situation that I feel confused about. There was an urgent situation with customers at our company at at a local sporting event. My husband needed to take the call and we were driving home from dinner, but we live in the sticks and he was going to lose service driving through a certain area. He pulled off into a parking lot and continued the conversation. My two kids in the back seat were fighting and really behaving in a way that was very challenging. I was feeling overwhelmed and as usual, my husband short-tempered. They are 9 and 12 so it's not like they couldn't listen due to age. They have been acting out lately (bc shit is intense at home) and were distracting.
Anyway, it was quiet and they were fighting under their breath and at one point my 10-year-old kicked my 12-year-old. Which was bullshit of course. But my husband turned and grabbed my son and shoved his legs forward so he was sitting facing toward. When he did that he banged my sons shin on the plastic part of the seat and my son has a bruise today.
After about being stopped for 15-20 minutes and hearing that it had slowed down a bit and thinking we could risk the 45 second phone call drop, I asked if we could go. He responded by snapping and told me "you have no patience. You are the most impatient person I know. Can't you wait 15 minutes?"
I kept my mouth shut. In the past I would have defended myself and it would have exploded bc I would have kept saying I just asked if we could go and why does he have to act like that and blah blah blah.
So today I went downstairs to talk about last night. Talked about my sons bruise and he said he didn't think he did that and he will talk to him. He acted on edge when I said our son had a bruise. He went to talk to our son and apparently told him he was wrong and that it was the wrong leg and the bruise was old. It was both legs. I saw it. My son knows what happened and i watched him looking at his leg after it happened. We KNOW what happened.
I asked him why he had to attack and use shame with me when all I asked was if we could go. He responded with "its how you ask me. You are so rude about it." I started to explain that I am afraid of his responses and so I work hard to try to figure out the right way to say some thing to him so it doesn't end up escalating. He told me I am not afraid of him and that that is ridiculous. I'm just rude and don't like how he responds to that.
So I just got up and walked away.
Am I over reacting? If I am I need to know, bc I feel crazy.
TL;DR
I THINK MY KIDS AND I ARE BEING GASLIT AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED BY MY HUSBAND, but I can't tell bc I didn't have a healthy upbringing.
Submitted February 23, 2020 at 01:57PM by Confused1234568 https://ift.tt/2Vho99K
No comments:
Post a Comment