My bf (24m) ( a bit more than 5 years together) has created a tinder account for threesomes without my consent

My bf (24m) (a bit more than 5 years together) has created a tinder account for threesomes without my consent. He posted pictures of us and claimed he would talk to me about it and that I would be happy. We did talk about potential threesomes sometime in the future but I told him I don't think we should try such a thing at the moment as we have some problems and a threesome would just simply not solve all that. 

Now talking about problems, I will explain a bit our situation and would hope for advice on whether to exit or stay in the relationship. 

1. We have been together for quite some years now (5+) and I think, that for the time period, I was the only person who was helping the other person become something more. I helped him be confident, get himself together, choose a good study track and taught him stuff like cooking and cleaning as beforehand his mom was doing this instead of him. I also helped him when he was in a difficult situation and I and my family did really help him in any way we could. His family is complicated, parents separated but both of his parents hate me ever since the beginning, claiming I was inferior. (We have been together since high school and I was pretty much a nerdy valedictorian and still am at uni, I would not consider myself a bad person). In the past, this has led to him lying to me bc his mom lied to him, and I decided that I would not bother with his parents for the time being. But his parents are really pushing me away from a possible future with him bc he gets easily manipulated by them, and this influences our relationship.
2. Whenever I am with him, if I have a problem, that I think, he can solve, he would get irritated, sometimes yell at me for not getting what he is saying, and will question how I succeeded in my studies, undermining all of my achievements. Moreover, whenever I want to discuss a problem, like an adult with him, he would say I overreact and that it isn't a big deal. We would sometimes have some mature conversations and he would change his behavior but only temporarily.
3. He does not trust me that much and sometimes he would get jealous because he thinks all guys want to sleep with me and that I should not go to parties that much (which was around 10 for a whole year, far less than the average student). But when he goes to parties, gets drunk until he doesn't remember a thing (no lack of control) and girls flirt with him, it is fine. I think that is hypocrisy. I never led on guys and always told them outright I was in a relationship.
4. I know that he thinks that I am the one for him, and for that, I hate hurting him. I have forgiven him a lot. He has made me cry multiple times and it is not to say that I did not make him cry as well sometimes but I have cried a lot more. But I tend to forget our problems when I see he is hurt and just move on. And sometimes everything I forgot and I forgave will come in at the same time when a problem occurs. (Which come to think of that it is not very healthy)
5. When we are around ppl, he tends to make jokes that are very inappropriate in the context. He does not know when it is okay to say a joke and sometimes he jokes about things that are hurtful to me (aka the death of relatives and things like that). We have talked about this and now he is mostly good, although not always.
6. He claims he made much more compromises than me and to some extent, I agree. But his compromise would be to come to my place instead of going to his place. Or take me home bc it is dark and I did not want to walk alone at night. I told him I don't feel very comfortable with his mom around at his place but he would always say she is not that bad even though she would try multiple times to set him up with another girl (his father did the same). My compromises would be in a way that I see what is good for him and sometimes ignore whether that is good for me as well. But for the great choices - such as career and education - I never made compromises with myself.  We did have a year long-distance relationship and I felt that I was much more like myself without him. I just felt that with him my whole being was a bit suffocated and my potential was limited. However, this could be a side effect of me moving abroad. During the long-distance thing, there was a time, where there was a chance of us not being able to be together, and I told him I cannot wait for him forever to which he replied that I am a whore and that I cannot close my legs for a bit longer. He immediately asked if there was someone else (there wasn't). He also made at that time a Tinder account and talked with some girls. Whether he did something or not, I am unaware. He claimed he didn't. He admitted to me after I asked him why does he want me to have a Tinder account so much (he claimed it was to make me less insecure but ultimately said it was bc he tried it). I was hurt by this and I was blamed for pushing him into doing this, so I kinda forgave him. He does know me very well and he does care that I am hurt, I just feel that sometimes the things he wasn't taught during his childhood are too many and he is unaware of how to act in certain situations. This makes communication rather difficult. Right now, I feel we don't talk that much in person. Only when we need some company, we call/text each other and when we complain about things.
7. As for the threesomes. We had some talks about that, just hypothetically and we were just "playing around." I told him that I feel that right now it is not the wisest decision to do that. He also kept offering swinging. He did a tinder account with our picture for threesomes. I am a very private person, meaning I don't like posting pictures of me that much and especially not on a dating platform without my knowledge. I told him to delete the profile and he said he did. I told him that I feel bad for him not sharing or asking me first and he said he wanted to "motivate me". I told him that I don't like to be pushed around and that he had the wrong intentions as he never planned to ask me beforehand. He said he was sorry and then we did not have a conversation for 2 days now. He does not acknowledge that it is not okay to do such things. As for the motivation part, this is what really annoys me as in the past when I was stressed and did not want to have sex that much, he would attempt to "motivate me" by saying he will order a prostitute or substitute me, or whenever we are having intercourse for hours and I would say I need a break, he would say: "Just trust me, let's try this and you will feel better" and 99 percent it will result in me being in pain from the friction. At this point, my trust in him has decreased significantly and I am not sure how I am supposed to feel. As for my character, I am a bit bossy, ambitious and like to be independent. I have strong opinions about things but if the other person has valid points I do agree. My bf also likes to overanalyze everything and often when he talks about the compromises he made with me he would say how much money he spent on our dates and time together (we did split most of the time). 

TL DR: My bf for 5+ years (24m) is a responsible somewhat of a nice guy but does not know how to act like a mature person all the time, created tinder accounts, has a family who hates me and I don't know if I should continue trying to be in this relationship or leave bc I am afraid of hurting people. So, what is the best thing to do? Breakup or not? 

I am open to additional questions as well. 
Reposted bc had to add the relationship duration

Submitted October 25, 2019 at 01:42PM by justanambitiousgirl https://ift.tt/343Bjbi