So, I am in a LDR with my boyfriend. He lives in Amsterdam and I live in the US (mid-Atlantic region.) We meet up 4-5 times a year. We are exclusive. I am waiting for my son to graduate HS to move to the Netherlands, as I hold an EU (Irish) passport.
Sunday was my son's 18th birthday and I sent my BF a photo of the cake I'd baked for my son. He texted me back, "In related news, I have decided I am going to be a sperm donor." I was shocked and I said, "What?" Then he went silent, I thought maybe it was a joke, so I waited for him to confirm my suspicion. That confirmation never came.
So, I reached out to him today to ask what was going on. He told me he's doing this for a female friend who lives "500 miles away", and better him than a stranger. He said he didn't want a relationship with the child. I was surprised. I took a walk to try to process it. In my heart, I feel I can't continue this relationship knowing he has a child with another woman. I told him my feelings on this situation.
He accused me of being selfish and jealous. I told him it was his right to do what he felt best, but I had that right, too. Then he told me he was 50 and without kids. I was confused because I'd brought up children a few times and he always seemed indifferent. I feel sucker punched, we just had a lovely trip together last month and was looking forward to planning another.
He still wants to continue our relationship, but I can't. This is too much for me. I would have had a child with him if he indicated that is what he wanted. But it hurts knowing he's having a child with a friend.
Am I being unreasonable or jealous and selfish? I am still trying to make sense of this.
TL;DR Long distance BF of 6 years just told me he's donating sperm to a friend. I am uncomfortable with this and told him so. He accused me of being selfish and jealous.
Submitted October 30, 2019 at 10:49AM by GenevieveDuBois https://ift.tt/2MYx8b7
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