I have known my friend, Joe, since middle school. He has been like a brother to me, but his laziness/lack of responsibility is exhausting. Joe started dating Emily in high school and they got married after college, so married for 2 years, together for around 9. Emily is amazing and over the years she and I have become very close (I’m gay, so nothing more than a great friendship). Joe has always been coddled by his parents, and when he married Emily she ended up taking over that same sort of caretaker role for him. Not even just taking care of cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, but also like making sure he gets to work on time, setting his appointments, literally anything an adult would do for themselves. It’s so frustrating to watch, but she’s always insisted she likes taking care of him and if she’s happy it’s not my business to say more.
Fast-forward to last Friday (9 days ago), Emily calls me crying, asking if she can spend the night at my house. Obviously I say yes. She tells me that she is 5 weeks pregnant and when she told Joe, he said he doesn’t want the baby and kicked her out. She asked me not to tell him she’s staying with me and I agreed. He started calling her 2 days later begging her to come home, saying how he loves her and wants the baby, he was just scared, etc, but then basically made her feel like he needed her to come home because he doesn’t know where his clean underwear is. She says she ultimately doesn’t know what she wants to do at this point as far as their marriage, but she definitely is not ready to see him yet.
Since then I have had contact with Joe several times, both by text and in person, and he’s been acting like everything is normal at home. He knows she and I text daily, and when I’ve asked him casually about Emily he says she’s at home/out with friends/lame excuse C. Last night I met up with Joe for a few drinks and not only did he once again act like Emily was fine, but made a stupid joke about her nagging him. I snapped. I asked him how she could possibly be nagging him when she’s been sleeping in my guest room for over a week? He flipped out on me, said he’s been worried sick, I’m interfering in his marriage, trying to keep him from his child, and therefore obviously not a true friend. While I do agree that I was lying by not telling him Emily is staying with me, I feel that she needs a safe place to stay while she decides what’s next. So, am I really wrong here? Is there anything I can do to encourage them to figure out a plan?
TL;DR: “Joe’s” pregnant wife, “Emily”, who is also my friend, has been staying with me since he kicked her out (for telling him she’s pregnant). Joe is mad at me for interfering in his marriage. I’m wondering if I overstepped and if there’s anything I can do to help them.
Submitted October 27, 2019 at 03:30PM by aitathrowaway63838 https://ift.tt/2MSpkYl
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