I [F25] found out that my boyfriend [M26] of 5 years has a ring and a plan to propose and I’m not ready. How do we work through this?

A few months ago my boyfriend took me to look at rings and I had a breakdown basically. I was a nervous, anxious wreck. I thought about everything that was and wasn’t going well in our relationship and the fact that our near term goals didn’t align. He is in a stable, awesome job with the military that keeps him in Minnesota (likely for the next 20 years). I respect that. But, I’d love to live out of state for a bit and he doesn’t understand why. He doesn’t understand why I would want to move away from him (we live together and have a dog), my family and friends.

So we talked a lot about this and agreed his job has so many opportunities come up for moving that he would “consider as they arise”. Sounded good to me at the time. So we looked at rings and I sent him some I liked.

The more I’ve sat on this piece of our relationship, and talked about it with friends and family and my therapist, it’s something that keeps eating away at me. In my heart of hearts, I don’t think he’ll move. I understand why. But it’s something I’d like to try and If I don’t try it out now I don’t think it will ever happen. And therefore, I’ll be upset I didn’t try and maybe resent him for pushing me into this.

I told him that when our lease is up next year I’d like to move and he said he has a ring and a plan to propose. He’s asked my Dad and wants to be married by next Fall. I’m panicking. I told him I’m not ready for that. He said if I move next year, it’s over and we can’t try a LDR. He said he feels hoodwinked that I changed how I was feeling.

How can we work through this?

TLDR: My boyfriend and I have had talks of engagement, he is ready for it NOW. I am not. I want to move and he can’t with his job.

Submitted August 27, 2019 at 06:46AM by ChannelSara https://ift.tt/344djpq