My mother has a very anxious and fearful personality. Growing up, I always heard her talk about the dangers of this or that. She wouldn't let me sleep over or hang out with any friends other than 1 or 2 whose parents she knew. She always was overprotective, swooping into to do everything for me. When I was a teenager and if I got in a minor argument with someone, she'd say something crazy like "What! Would it if he had a gun?" If we went out for dinner at 8 pm in a pretty nice area, she'd look anxious tell my dad to lock the doors, as if robbers were around the corner. She tells my dad to "slow down" like 3 times if we're on a road trip and he's going 70.
Basically, my mother sees the world as dangerous. She's extremely anxious, sometimes to the point of paranoia. I feel like this has hindered my development. It really pisses me off. I'm hyper self-conscious, everyday interactions are nerve-wracking to me, and I have a strong startle reflex. Some of my anxiety is genetic probably, but I feel like I can't develop to my full self because of how my mother raised me. I'm 24 and I'm fearful in social situations, I see fear in things most people would see as everyday and normal.
I feel like I an extrovert inside, I want to meet people and talk and grow, but I'm in this artificial shell of hyper-anxiety and self-consciousness and low self-esteem. It fucking sucks. /endrant
TLDR; my mother fucked up my mental/emotional development.
Submitted August 28, 2019 at 11:29PM by RedStarFlame https://ift.tt/2Zvq09m
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