Hello guys. I'm 23, my girlfriend is 22, we're together for almost 2 years now and we had (with some exceptions) an amazing relationship so far. I love her, she loves me, we trust each other and even though things are not always perfect, I love being with her.
The thing is - the older I get, the less I want kids. I know this might sound like a stupid thing to hear from a 23 yo guy, however, I actually wanted kids when I was around 18. I was thinking about having them in the future, I thought about how I'd name them, how I'd be a good that, all that stuff. Unfortunately, the older I get, the less are these imaginations appealing to me. My girlfriend doesn't want to have kids now, especially since she's still at college, however, she can imagine having them in a future. We talked about this a couple of times and everytime she always had the same answer: "I believe you'd be a great dad." (as a reaction to me messing around my or her cousins), "You're just too young to decide whether you want them or not." etc. The thing is that she might be right about the age, however, I also might be right about my feelings and I don't want to be at the age of, let's say, 28 when she'll want to have kids and I'll be like "Nah, sorry, I told you I don't want them."
There are multiple reasons I don't want kids - I believe Earth is overpopulated and even though I live in Europe where it's not so bad, I would feel guilty to bring a child to this world. I also believe that in a couple of years, there are gonna be either big wars or famine or anything like that. This might miss me if I die at the age of, let's say, 70, however, my kids would experience this. Again, I don't want them to experience this. There's much more but mainly the guilt, the feeling of incredible responsibility, money etc. When I was talking about this with my friend, she said she understands and that she doesn't want kids because of similar reasons.
What doesn't help, are my parents - even though my mom has grandchildren from my older siblings, I'm my dad's only son (he married mom when she was divorced) and I kinda feel that he would love to have grandkids as well even though he loves those from my sisters. They are also bit conservative (not religious though) and they think that people SHOULD have kids because it's "natural" and "everybody does that". I once talked about this with my dad for quite a long time and he said that the reason might be that my girlfriend is not the one, that I don't love her enough to have babies with her. I don't think that would be true but I can't also say it's complete nonsense - again, as I said, from time to time, we had some difficulties and we almost broke up once or twice.
How would you explain this to your GF/BF? What would you tell them and how would you react if they didn't agree with you? Should I wait, should I just pretend I want kids, should I listen to my parents? Any help would be appreciated.
TL;DR: I don't want kids, my girlfriend does (in the future). I love her but I don't want to break her heart by not wanting the kids and I don't know what to do.
Submitted August 27, 2019 at 10:16AM by oxcore https://ift.tt/341vrjH
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