I am a young professional F (27) living in NYC with my fiance M(27). We have been together for 6 years, engaged for 1, live together for 4. I recently graduated with my master's degree and am working as a therapist. It is my dream job and it feels like my life is finally falling into place. I love my work and I love my relationship. We will be married in the Fall. My life is all around great but I sometimes sense tension in my relationship because of both my partner's and I's wish to have children. We are both young professional's but his career is pretty much set in terms of schooling. He is moving up in his company while I still have to complete 3000 hours of supervised therapeutic work (equating to about 2 years of full time work) where I would then have to pass a huge test to get my license. I would only feel comfortable purchasing our home and moving to a suburb after I receive my license. This would mean securing a new job as well. This would probably mean starting to try for babies 3 years from now.
Future husband is all on board with this plan but has mentioned a few times that he wishes we could have children now. He originally wanted to start trying right after the wedding but once we calculated the costs it just wouldn't be possible to afford an NYC 2 bedroom, pay at least 1k a month on childcare, and save the necessary money for a down payment. Last night he joked about how he has to wait for children because of my career. We are both Latino and saw ourselves having children very young. I myself dreamed of having at least one by 25 and have mourned the fact that is not my life. I know this might not make too much sense to different cultures but it's how we were brought up to believe family's should be. Me being a therapist we discuss things openly and he is very supportive and understands that we have to wait for my career, achieving our dream home, and just being in a better place financially for our future babies. But he still mentions babies often. He reads up on child development and is scared of waiting "too long" because of the risk on mom and baby. I tell him that a geriatric pregnancy is not till 35 and he knows that but it's a fear he has.
My question is what can I do to make him feel more comfortable about waiting and even lessen the guilt I have for making myself wait?
TL;DR: My fiance would rather have kids right after our wedding and I want to wait about 3 years until we are more financially stable. My question is what can I do to make him feel more comfortable about waiting and even lessen the guilt I have for making myself wait?
Submitted August 27, 2019 at 11:45AM by Idkwhat2write https://ift.tt/348PvR6
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