I think today is the worst I've ever felt about myself. I'm just so tired of fighting some invisible wall that prevents me from having meaningful connections and romantic relationships.
I've been on hundreds of dates. I've gone to therapy. I lost thirty pounds (down to 150), gone to the gym and taken up hobbies. I organize sports leagues and try to plan social events. I try to listen when people talk and be a good person and a good friend. I solo travel and hike and camp. I try to dress well and have good habits. I got a nice apartment and a dog.
Out of all this I met one girl that I really fell in love with and she left me to go he with her ex. That was nine months ago and I'm still in pain.
Im tired of seeing the same old people on dating apps. I'm tired of watching all my friends get married and move forward with life. I'm tired of getting outside my comfort zone, meeting people, and being rejected.
There is something wrong with me. Something broken. Whatever it is though, I can't fix it. Please please believe me that I have tried.
I don't know what else to do. I'm thinking of burning it all and starting over fresh. That seems like my only move but it could just make it all worse. Or getting plastic surgery or living the van life.
My family loves me but my parents are old and my brother has his own family to worry about.
I'm just so tired. Tired of being alone. Tired of being in pain. Has anyone ever been in such a place and found their way back? Any advise?
Tl;Dr I am feeling alone and rejected in all relationships and don't know how to come out of it.
Submitted August 26, 2019 at 06:46PM by ze_intern https://ift.tt/2Zr9TcR
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