I'll break this into two parts - one about trying to talk to him and the second about his health.
I tried discussion the excessive purchasing on two occasions, both immediately after him bringing home groceries and also separate from it. Both times he got angry, defensive, and yelled, a lot. So then I took a general tally of what we had that was excessive (for example I have 10 cans of different types of southwestern beans, 10 jars of preserves/jams, 2 loaves of the same flavor of specialty bread and 2 packages of English muffins of that flavor, 6 containers of watermelon and similar of berries, about 20 single serve yogurts, 20 packets of individual flavored tuna, and 4 containers of limeade, so much cheese the cheese drawer fell down, multiple boxes of flavored crackers, among many other duplicate things. This is mostly from the past couple weeks. He insisted these things would get used. I showed him how much food I was throwing out from the last week, and that there was seriously NO room left. This also got him upset and defensive. However, on days when given a small list of things, he does better (but still gets extras, or forgets some of the things I asked for)
Part two: after one of these trips, he ended up sitting on the floor having muscle spasms in his legs and stuttering severely, having trouble speaking, trouble standing, and was very agitated. This has happened before, the worst episode being that he fell in the middle of the night a couple months ago and kept having these spasms, but would not go to the hospital, or follow up after. On another occasion this week, he mentioned not knowing how he got home because he couldn't remember the drive. When he messages me during the day it is frequently unintelligible/mistyped (he has always typed perfectly before). He has also repeatedly forgotten that he already bought an item, and has insisted he hears people talking at night when there is nothing but silence.
So, looking at part 2, I am going to focus my efforts on convincing him to go to a neurologist, and just - for now - donate all excess perishables and some of the canned goods to the local food bank and the 'little free pantry' stations around town. I'll work with my therapist on my own ability to cope. I honestly don't know how this is going to go, but I appreciate all the comments.
Tl;dr: tried talking to husband about grocery hoarding, led to more conflict, he has many concerning symptoms so I'm going to move forward with pushing him to go to a doctor and just manage the hoarding symptom for now.
Submitted August 30, 2019 at 07:46PM by 73746382915 https://ift.tt/2MLNSnb
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