My (19f) family attacked me and are now pretending it never happened. I am bruised and hurting. How do I move past this?

TL;DR : My mum flipped out on me randomly and attacked me, breaking my possessions in the meantime. I now I have to pretend everything is okay for the sake of having somewhere to live. I am bruised and hurting. What do I do.

I live at home with my parents and sister. A couple days ago I got back from a trip to see my boyfriend in the US. (I'm British). The incident happened yesterday. I was due to start my college course today and I was getting cold feet. Not to mention not being able to eat or sleep due to jet lag. I spoke to my mum about how maybe it was in my best interest to purely work instead of study as then I would have the cash to see my boyfriend more often. Maybe even job hop a little to take bigger vacations. I have some pretty bad depression and anxiety so sometimes it's hard for me to think things out rationally. Instead I indulge in things that make me feel better like my bf. So yeah, I know my idea wasn't the best but I was panicking and just brainstorming.

She was not happy with this idea.. said some pretty mean things. "If your boyfriend loved you he would marry you and you could stay but obviously he doesn't truly want you" blah blah blah. So instead of arguing I went up to my room to escape it. She followed me. Started spewing out crap about how I'm a piece of shit who doesn't appreciate anything and how dare I do this and do that. Meanwhile I'm kind of just sat there trying to piece together why she's so angry and why she's making shit up about me spending too much time in my room. I HAD ONLY BEEN BACK FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS. How the hell am I spending too much time in my room? I'M TRYING TO SLEEP. So she got within an inch of my face and told me to get the fuck out of the house within twenty minutes. I was shocked, I was confused.. I was angry. I said no. I need longer than twenty minutes to collect all of my possessions. She again told me to get the fuck out. I said no. So then she attacked me. I kept my hands to myself as I know that if I even tried defending myself she would do something even more insane and I'd have to replace every damn thing in my room as she has a fiery temper. My sister heard the commotion, basically walked in on my mum punching and elbowing me out. My sister will jump on any opportunity to earn brownie points with my mother so she practically enjoyed ripping my hair out, screaming about how she'll bite me. They broke my phone to the point where it won't turn on by throwing me onto the concrete etc etc.. So I'm just sat there in a pile of my broken things on the doorstep, homeless, wondering what the fuck went on. I went to my neighbours and called the police. 6 hours went by. No police. I called multiple times. "Sorry they were diverted". In the end I gave up, called my grandma (Who definitely didn't want to get involved) and spent the night there as I clearly wasn't welcome for much longer.

I got a taxi back "home" this morning to tell them that I was pressing charges. My mum was trying to hide the fact that she was terrified. So I bargained as much as I could, got my sister to pay for the insurance excess on my phone and got my room back to live in as long as I made the police report go away.. And now they're just acting as if it never happened. I am in so much pain from bruising. I can't contact anyone on the phone, I had interviews lined up.. I have a long distance boyfriend who I communicate with through that. Every single item I own other then the dirty clothes I'm wearing and my little laptop are at my grandmas house.. as I can't drive and no one will help me retrieve them. My room is trashed and I'm just sat here in the darkness upset, hurting and confused.

What do I do. How do I forgive/move on from this. I have been given no apology. No explanation other than "I meant to hurt you because you need to suffer consequences". I even got a "Do you really think I would put my hands on you if I didn't think it was necessary?". What the does that even mean??? I am being forced to just forget they ever attacked me. And I'm terrified because I have already been threatened by my mother again. Saying she will kick me out whenever she wants if she sees fit. I have no money, no job, no friends. I don't even know where to start.

Edit : I do pay board, not a lot as I'm job hunting but I do contribute. I do not live up to the horrible things she says about me. I am just very confused to why this outburst happened and why either her or my sister think it's acceptable to literally assault me without reason.

Submitted August 30, 2019 at 06:43PM by TheRealKitKatty https://ift.tt/30SZYyo