I love my GF but am frustrated, sad, and losing physical attraction to someone I originally couldn't take my eyes off. Since we started dating she's gotten more and more comfortable and put in less and less effort. Meanwhile, my physical fitness has remained about the same despite her efforts to sabotage it (guilt me into skipping the gym to hang out with her, telling me I'm only going to the gym to make her feel bad, suggesting extremely unhealthy meals). I've tried to encourage her to exercise, offered to cook us healthy meals, invited her to come to the gym, go on bike rides, walks in the park - nothing takes. My exercise habits are not to guilt her, but because it helps me manage my anxiety disorder and health - a habit that long pre-dates her.
Here's the rub: she only wants to do things she likes. She flat out says she hates exercising, hates salad, and is an extremely picky eater. She only likes carbs, meat, potatoes (who doesn't??) and hates vegetables. She'll fully acknowledge she is a picky eater, but I get frustrated by her being unwilling to put in any effort or do something she may not like. Obviously eating Taco Bell and skipping the gym is more enjoyable (and less effort) than going to the gym and eating a wholesome dinner. To make things worse, her parents will come visit and bring her a freezer full of cookies and unhealthy snacks. Her job is at one of those companies that stocks their kitchen with free snacks, takes their employees out to lavish meals with clients (1-2x/week plus lots of alcohol).
When we started dating she gave me the impression she regularly exercised. It's an important part of my life and I've always dated people who feel the same. But then she canceled her gym membership last month almost like throwing it in my face, because she made the call while we were together. She never really went anyways, except to walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes or using the sauna.
The weight gain has taken a toll on our sex life too - we still have sex a lot (1-3x each time we see each other), but I'm having a hard time enjoying it as much as I used to. This may be TMI, but she no longer has any energy to be on top or switch positions, so sex is her just laying there. She will constantly make statements like "I'm a fat cow," "omg I'm disgusting," "Jesus look at my stomach" and then laugh it off and do nothing about it. I used to say "no you're not" to things like that but have stopped. She talks about her weight gain every day but it's a joke to her. It's beginning to feel like she doesn't care about my physical attraction to her and it makes me feel bad. Honestly, this problem might be fixed if she would just put in ANY effort. I'd be so attracted to her making an effort and feeling good about herself! I can deal with a few extra lbs. ya know, but not the laziness.
No I haven't told her that I'm losing physical attraction to her even though that's the point I'm at. I've tried the supportive, lead by example method, I have told her I want her to be happy with herself and feel good about herself. If this is one year in, I'm very worried about what the future holds.
Any advice would be appreciated! I really love her so much, could see myself marrying her. I do not want to hurt her feelings or say something insensitive about her body but I worry about her health and our relationship.
Tl;dr: GF gains weight, knows it/doesn't care, sabotages my efforts to remain healthy.
For anyone wondering, she is 5'2" and I can assure you she is no longer still in the healthy weight range.
Submitted August 26, 2019 at 12:06PM by Throwawaythefood2019 https://ift.tt/2ZhA2Qc
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