My boyfriend (31m) was totally uncompassionate when my (24f) project at work was destroyed in a freak accident.

I'm an engineer at a company that does industrial automation. We do custom solutions for very specific applications, most of our projects are one-offs or have a very limited number produced.

I really like my job, it's interesting work, and it's cool being able to work on a variety of projects. I'm working on embedded systems, and my job is a cool combination of writing software and working with devices hands on.

For the last year, I'd been working on a project, a custom autonomous vehicle for a very specific mining application. It was a really cool project, and I had a big role in it.

We just shipped it off for beginning onsite testing. Then there was a disaster that destroyed a large amount of the mine, along with the vehicle. Luckily nobody was hurt.

But it still really sucked to see something I worked on for a year get destroyed by a freak accident. I was looking forward to seeing how my software performed in the field; getting real feedback on it. Plus it s just cool to see something you've made come "alive".

And it's dead for real; it was a one off project, and we know it's not going to be financially possible to rebuild.

My coworkers felt the same way, we were joking that it felt like we just sent our kid to college, and he got hit by a bus on the first day. It was only half a joke really; everyone was feeling really blue about things.

Anyway, after work that day, I went home and told my boyfriend that the vehicle had been destroyed in an accident. He kinda shrugged and told me to hurry up and get ready for a concert we were going to.

I was a little annoyed he brushed it off, and also not really in the mood to go out and stand and dance at a concert all night. So I said I wasn't sure I wanted to go; If had a really bad day.

And he said "it's just work" and brushed it all off, telling me to come out and have fun and forget about it. I was annoyed, at him for saying something important to me was "just work" and not important. Then we started to argue, he thought it wasn't something I should care that much about, I still have a job, it's not my money that was wasted, etc.

I told him that it was important to me; I had put a lot of thought and effort into something; it was disappointing to have nothing come of it. And he was upset my job seemed more important to me than my relationship; I had plans with him and I wanted to stay home and mope because of work. Even though he had been looking forward to the concert for a while.

I said I really wasn't ready to go after he'd been so rude. He could go alone but I wanted some time to take a breather after we argued. He went out alone, and that night I ended up going out drinking with some of my coworkers. It was a nice night, we had some time to vent, then get drunk and get our minds off of it.

I got home and my boyfriend was fed up to hear I'd gone out with my work group. And I was upset he still didn't get why I might want to have a chance to vent to people who "get it"

How do we work past this? I just want some compassion tbh

tldr - A project I've worked on for a year at my job was destroyed in a freak accident. I was upset and doubly upset my boyfriend thought it was nothing worth caring about

Submitted August 29, 2019 at 11:03AM by whathebuttt https://ift.tt/34cqhkQ