Last year, I moved back in with my parents. I had been in a very, very bad, abusive relationship- like, the type where my ex is in prison now. That's what I'm dealing with. My parents are very distant people. They're totally fine with me living here while I work through this, but they've never been very affectionate- nor did they discipline us much as children. Especially not my little sister, who is the unquestionable favorite child.
For some reason, my little sister has always hated me. I don't know why. My parents used to try to tell me it was just sibling rivalry when we were younger, but it isn't. It's always been unhealthy, frankly. As a kid, she would bite and hit me, throw rocks at me, you name it, completely unprovoked.
I thought she grew out of it when I moved in with my ex. However, now that I've moved back in, she hasn't changed at all. If anything, she's gotten worse. She constantly insults me- if she doesn't like the shirt I'm wearing, she tells me I'm ugly. If she sees me eat, she calls me a pig and a waste of space. We're adopted and she is white, but I'm half white and half Chinese, and she constantly calls me by racial slurs and tries to pass them off as a joke. I go to college and work part time, and if our parents aren't home when I'm getting home from class or work, she locks me out of the house until they get there. Sometimes, she'll yell at me or throw things at me or act like she's going to hit me just because she knows it freaks me out. I try to not react, but it's kind of hard for anyone to not flinch away when someone acts like they're going to hit them.
The other day, our other little sister got her wisdom teeth out and was in a lot of pain when I got her home. I asked my little sister to move off the couch so she could lay down, and my little sister got very defensive because she wanted to sit on the couch while she watched tv. I got angry back, which I regret because I don't do often, but I am very protective of our other little sister because she goes through the same stuff. I told her the world doesn't revolve around her and to stop being so selfish, and my sister's response to this was to physically attack me. She came at me and left me with a huge cut on my nose from her nails and a black eye, and she only got off me because my mom came downstairs and pulled her off me.
This isn't the first time she's physically come at me. Every time I try to bring it up to my parents, they just brush it off as her being hormonal because she's pregnant- which, by the way, that's a thing- but this was going on long before she was pregnant. They always seem to have some excuse for her, and that hurts.
I honestly can't wrap my head around why she hates me so much. She's pretty rude to everyone in general, but to me, it's like I've done something to wrong her, but I can't think of anything I've ever done. Even when we were little kids, I was still a very non confrontational person, I've never picked a fight with her, at least not one that I can remember. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a pushover and I definitely know when to stand up for myself, but most of the time I try to ignore her when she puts me down or things like that- and even when I don't ignore her, my response is always something like "hey, it's not cool to talk to people like that" or something- because it's not and I can't imagine why anyone would say some of the stuff she says to me- especially in regards to my past relationship.
I want to get out of this situation, but I'm too scared to live on my own or try to find a roommate. Mostly, though, I want to find a way to understand why my little sister hates me so much and so viscerally.
Tl;dr: I moved back home after a couple years of living away. My little sister has always hated me, but it's gotten worse since I came back. I just want to understand why.
Submitted August 29, 2019 at 10:06PM by thisiswaytoopersonal https://ift.tt/2Pm7yA4
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