Long story short is that my Dad (56M) has been sort of MIA my entire life, popping in and out whenever it was convenient. He moved 7+ hours away from me recently.
This past spring me (24F) and my S.O. (24M) got engaged after 4 years! We're very excited, however not in a big rush to get married right away due to financial reasons and me going back to college to receive my graduate certificate. We decided to throw an engagement party this past weekend to celebrate in the meantime and for our families to be introduced to one another.
My dad had told me he had already taken too much time off from his work due to an accident he was in a few years ago; he now has to travel every few months for tests. This, I understand. He said he wouldn't be able to visit until the fall when business slows down and he's back into a part-time position. I was okay with this. Today however, I found out that he actually had the entire weekend off, but chose to spend it at a cottage with my step mom (41F) and brother (5M) who were also both invited. I'm absolutely crushed by this. My dad has always been the kind of selfish person to let others down, and this morning after finding out through social media he was at a cottage instead of working like he had told me he was, it finally broke me.
I made the concious decision during the engagement party to ask my step dad (57M), who has been more of a father to me since before I could even walk, to give me away at my wedding. He of course said yes, but later asked me how I would tell my bio dad about this. I simply said "he isn't here". Now, I've always had the vision of having both my dads give me away, but after this weekend and finding out my bio dad has no interest in what was one of the more important events in my life, I'm reconsidering even asking him to give me away. In the past I have tried to reach out to my bio dad and explain how his selfishness has negatively impacted my childhood, and that I wanted him to change, but it made no difference clearly.
Did I make the right decision in only asking my step dad to give me away? Should I bother reaching out to my bio dad to explain my feelings?
TL;DR - My dad is selfish and lied to me about his reasons why he couldn't show up to my engagement party. Did I make the right choice in asking my step dad to give me away instead of him? Should I tell my bio dad how I feel?
Submitted August 27, 2019 at 11:44AM by MrsGitz https://ift.tt/2HulaTF
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