Throwaway because boyfriend knows my main account.
I'm 20F and my boyfriend is 21. We've been together about 8 months. I love him a lot. But he keeps asking me about having a threesome. He's not pestering me about it knowing that I'm not interested because I haven't been able to tell him that yet. In fact, I was on board with the idea when he first brought it up so now he thinks I still want that, but I don't. I thought maybe I should write out what I'm feeling instead of saying it, because I have a hard time saying anything that I think will be disappointing to someone I care about. So my question is, does this message make my stance on the matter clear and is there a better way to say any of this to him? This is what I have so far:
"Here's how I feel: 1. It’s a weird situation for me because I don’t have any attraction to her because she’s female but you clearly do. It just wouldn’t do anything for me. But that’s not really that important to me, it’s not the main issue. 3. You want us to hang out with her. Go bowling and go out to eat and whatever, and then you want us to have sex with her. That’s no different from what we do, so to me it just sounds like dating. Like you just want to date other people. Wanting that isn’t a bad thing, it’s just not something I’m comfortable with. 4. I know you’ll say it’s just about sex or your fantasy or whatever, and I’m not saying that that isn’t true, but it doesn’t really seem that way to me, even if it does to you. So honestly if I did this with you, I don’t think I would have the reaction to it that you’d want or expect. I'm worried that it would make me just uncomfortable enough that I wouldn’t be able to see you anymore.
That doesn’t mean we can’t try this. I’m just saying if we do, this is a fair warning that I might feel differently about us afterwards and it might change things.
I really didn’t mind the idea of us doing this at first, but actually thinking about the reality of it kind of changed how I feel about it. I’m sorry I haven’t said any of this to you until now. It’s always hard for me to say anything if I think it will upset or disappoint someone."
Should I take anything out or add anything? It is to harsh sounding or accusatory? Has anybody else been in a similar situation? How did your SO react?
TL;DR: boyfriend wants threesome, I don't anymore. I need help telling him that because he keeps asking about it.
Submitted April 05, 2019 at 06:03AM by Throwaway4262162928 http://bit.ly/2OUlcXd
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