Just told my (F27) friends and family about my relationship of 3 years with my SO (28M) and they have not taken it well. How do I handle this?

Hello guys,

TL;DR: me and my husband got married 6 months into the relationship and told my family 3 years later and every one is freaking out.

Hello Guys

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I met my husband 3 years ago and 6 months later we got married. Our relationship isnt a very conventional one, and did not follow the normal trend of meet, move in together, get married.

We met, 6 months in he asked to get married and I said yes. What I feel with him is just amazing. I had been in and out of bad relationships where I never felt understood but with him it felt so so easy and great. He helped me grow as a person and he is a super understanding and smart guy and sticks with me through thick and thin.

I voiced to him before we got married that I perhaps dont see love the same way as other people do and go through life with a very practical approach, and that I wanted to do things in life regardless of if I was married or not. So even after we got married we lived apart, at first he had a job in another city and had to fulfil the contract there, and later I wanted to live with one of my best friends cause it was always something we talked about, I discussed it with him and he said its okay since we were still in the same city and saw each other almost everyday. I even went on a holiday by myself cause I love travelling alone and then he joined me a week later.

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Eventually, me and my husband moved in together and its been around a year now. Let me just say we have no problems in our relationship. No cheating, plenty of sex, some fight about mess (I am a very messy person), we travel a lot. Any fight that do happen are addressed to thanks to his great communication skills which are helping me improve mine.

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So last week, we had a few friends and family over for dinner and told them that actually we have been married for a few years now. I expect some backlash about not having the big show offy Indian wedding (husband is english/caucasian) my mother always wanted but nothing more than this.

But instead I was met with "are you crazy" "why did you get married so early". Honestly I was baffled with somethings that were said and my mother went as far as accusing my husband of brainwashing me? It seemed like every one was more focused on the fact that we got married in 6 months rather than the fact that we have been together for 3 years and are really happy with our life and how we did things. My best friend was mostly upset cause I did not tell her. Some of my other friends made comments on his looks and how I could do better and they are well no longer friends.

My aunts and uncles made comments about how he must be broke and doesnt want a big wedding (this is not true he is an engineer and makes good money). That I am going to fail my PhD cause of him, again not true he has been holding me together through all of it

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I told them I wanted to get married and I did not want a big wedding and it happened the way I wanted. I did not tell them when it happened cause well honestly I did not want to, but I also did not want to be asked if I am crazy or pregnant etc. My husband told who he wanted and I had no problem with this. I did discuss with him at the time that I just rather keep it to myself till I feel ready to tell my family and friends and I've also always been a private person. He basically said he doesnt care who knows and who doesnt as long as he has my commitment and that he only cares about being married to me and living a fulfilling married life with me, the method to achieving this is for us to decided and no one else's business.

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Anyway now my mom wont talk to me (And wont let me see my dog), my aunts and uncles are little shits and are probably filling her ears with manipulative slander. She keeps messaging my husband that he stole me, hes not good for me. She messaged me once saying I am a horrible daughter. I don't know how to appease her or help her understand.

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Any advice would be useful.

EDIT: I should add that me and my family are not very close at all, I was in boarding school from a very young age till early teens and once I moved with my mom it was mostly verbal and physical abuse, I moved out when I was 18 and I have always kept my self to my self. I visit and talk to my mum once every week but its mostly her talking about her and us discussing nothing major. I opt out of telling her things about my personal/academic life cause she does get very involved and in the past has accused my boyfriends of creating problems between her and me which was never the case.

Submitted April 03, 2019 at 06:04AM by CarefulCheek https://ift.tt/2FVtmM0