As you can assume from the title, I just found out my dad isn't my biological father. I want to start this post by saying, I will always view my dad as my dad, biology will not change that. He is the most warm-hearted, funny, honest person I know. He has treated me like a princess since before I can remember. I guess I am not sure what I am looking for other than, my siblings don't know, and neither do my grandparents (I think). I am not sure who to tell and I need to get it off my chest. My parents were divorced for a brief period of time. The story goes they got pregnant with me and I was the reason they got back together and then they got pregnant with my little brother and got remarried after he was born. They had two kids prior to me. I have never doubted in my mind or ever thought I wasn't my parents biological child.
Yesterday, as we're driving home from my grandparents house, my dad and I were joking around in the car. I can't remember what we were talking about but it went something like this.
Me: "well, there's a 50:50 chance I'm your guys"
Dad: "Well, you are moms for sure"
Me: "oh what does that mean"
Dad: "nothing, I was just joking"
Me: "no, for real, what does that mean?" I kept pressing this multiple times because I could tell by his facial expression something was bothering him/serious.
Dad: "XXX, would you like to know the truth?"
Me: "yes, go ahead"
Dad: "I am not your biological father. Your mother got pregnant with her boyfriend at the time, and he did not want a baby. I told your mom I would raise you with our other two children."
I had absolutely no idea this was what he was going to say. I couldn't speak, I remember my whole body tensing up and getting very hot, and I started to cry. My dad then looked at me and said "I am sorry, XX, I fucked up by telling you that. I was never going to tell you that."
We sat in the car and we drove for an hour. We didn't talk except for me holding my dad's hand while he cried for a while and I told him that it doesn't matter and he will always be my father.
My mom told me that her and my dad would answer any questions I have. I told her I didn't want to talk right now.
I am not mad. I am more sad. I guess I just feel like this changes my identity, or makes me question something I never doubted in the first place. I wish I never found this out.
What do I do now? Do I try and find my biological father? How/what should I say to my parents/dad because I know he is beating himself up about this? Am I wrong to feel upset? What do I do to make my dad know this doesn't change our relationship?
TL;Dr: I found out I am not my father's biological daughter. Looking for advice on how to move forward.
Submitted April 03, 2019 at 08:35AM by clahlberg https://ift.tt/2FLKOl8
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