My (40f) boyfriend (40m) and I have been together about six months . Ive never been to his house because he has 3 children, he is a full time single dad. I have not met his children yet as we decided to wait until after the six month mark. I do know where he lives because he told me where and I drive by his house almost every day because he live right by my child’s school.
In the last two months or so I’ve noticed a vehicle that’s not his but obviously is someone in his family (vanity plates) parked in front of his house and varying times of day. A few weeks ago I drove by to drop my kid off at school around 730 am and I saw a woman walk out of my boyfriends house, get in the car, and drive off. Neither of his children were with her. Ive never actually seen a picture of his ex wife but given the plates on her car have his last name on them I’m assuming that’s who she is.
So Then I became super suspicious and I KNOW I should have just asked and confronted him but I just didn’t know how. I thought maybe she’s just helping out with the kids or something, they do co parent after all. A friend suggested I drive by later in the evening when it would be a time she probably wouldn’t be there. So I did. I know stalker status I know it’s wrong. But she WAS there.... 9pm, 10pm, midnight. Weeknights and weekends. The car was there.
So now I know I need to say something and I’m ashamed of my suspicious stalking behavior. My mind is spinning about why he wouldn’t just tell me. He always swore he’d never get back with her because she cheated on him and she was mentally abusive and horrible. He’s even complained to me about their struggle to coparent at times.
Part of me thinks he’s not telling me what’s going on because he is actually back together with her which makes me I don’t know what. Can I feel cheated on when it’s his wife??? Part of me thinks it’s something else but he’s afraid to tell me what’s really going on because I’d be upset if she’s living with him even platonically. It’s hard for me to imagine him being he type to cheat and lie this way. He’s more the type to not tell me something because he’s afraid to upset me.
any advice on how to approach this? I know I need to confront him and come clean about my spying. I just feel so horrible and sad. I love him so much and have always trusted him completely. Now I can barely look at him and I’m consumed with doubt and jealousy which makes me act in ways I normally never would (like stalking his house).
Tl;dr Boyfriends ex appears to be living with him again. How do I confront him?
Submitted February 26, 2019 at 09:08AM by throwwwaaayyyyawaayy https://ift.tt/2GOMugo
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