My boyfriend and I are in a 2-year relationship. We've been making plans to move in together, however I have some concerns that I'd like to get an objective opinion on.
A year before we met, my boyfriend divorced his wife. They're still on really good terms and have joint custody of their two children. I've spent some time with his family; his wife has always been nice to me, and the kids are adorable. There's a "but", however.
I feel like my boyfriend still clings onto his old life. It didn't used to be this bad during the first year of our dating, but lately, he's been running off to his ex's house after the slightest argument between us. Sometimes, I feel like he sees them as his only "true family".
He's been spending all of his free time with them and neglecting our relationship. If I complain that I've barely seen him in a given week, he'll accuse me of being jealous and preventing him from being a father. The time he spends with his children already goes way beyond his allocated parenting time, though. Some of the things he's said also make me suspect he talks to his ex-wife about the details of our relationship, which I find wildly inappropriate.
I get being friends with your ex, especially if you have children together, but it seems like he's trying to blur the boundaries. I believe he wants to have both his new and old life. I don't want to share him like that, though. That's not what a committed relationship is.
This is why I'm reluctant to move in together before we can tackle this issue. Problem is, my boyfriend doesn't see one and I'm not sure what to do. When I mention being unsatisfied, he tells me I'm always welcome to hang out with him and his family. That's not even the problem, though. He's putting me in an awkward position and I feel like it's deliberate.
Please give me some advice on how to deal with this.
Tl;dr: I'm supposed to move in with my boyfriend of 2 years, but he won't let go of his old life. I'm concerned and don't know what this means for our relationship.
Submitted February 26, 2019 at 04:22AM by julealt https://ift.tt/2Toufog
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