My boyfriend (23M) and I (24F) have been together almost 5 years in May. We moved pretty quickly and moved in with each other at about 6 months together. It hasn't been an easy road getting to our first apartment between living with his mother and stuff. But we made it...with no ones help.
My mother (53F) wasn't happy when I left home and has only started talking to me regularly again for about 2 years now. She didn't like my boyfriend and now she is cordial with him. She wasn't the only one unhappy with my decision my brother (19M) was also unhappy and he barely talks to me or my boyfriend now.
Now to the dilemma. My mother is living in a basement apartment paying $1000 rent but the landlord wants to raise it to $2000 because my brother is staying there on the weekends. I know they don't have a permit to rent it out and they haven't turned on her heat all winter. I was helping her look for an apartment in her town in her price range but there aren't any. For these reasons my mother has asked my boyfriend and I to move in with her to this 3 bedroom apartment her friend is renting at her home.
At first, I saw no problem with moving and helping out my mother because she's my mother. My boyfriend was reluctant but ultimately agreed. She lives in another town but in this town you definitely need a car to get around because public transportation is scarce. We live now in a town where public transportation is fairly good and gets us both to work in the city. We were going to get the car sooner than later. So we can commute better in the new town.
But things have changed because my mother has said that my brother is going to have one of the bedrooms and NOT pay rent. I don't understand why he can't. He has a car (that his father got him) , has a job, and is not in college. I told my mother that if he wants a whole room he should pay rent. She is saying I'm being insensitive. He lives with his father and has a room there so it's not like I'm leaving him on the street. But when my mother approached us with the idea she said WE will have the extra bedroom since we will be paying 2/3 of the rent. Which we already made plans for the room. But suddenly she gives it to my brother without telling us. I found out through my sister.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? My boyfriend and I are not financially stable enough to make the move without hitting a rough patch... again. But we were going to move to help her. But she's treating us like children and wants our money. What do I do?
TL;DR: My mother wants my boyfriend and I to move in to a new place with her because they are raising her rent and she can't afford or find a place she can afford on her own. We aren't financially stable for a move. We agreed to the move because we want to help her and would have two bedrooms for ourselves. But now she wants to give the extra room to my brother, rent free. She already offered the room to my brother without consulting us.
Submitted January 28, 2019 at 02:31AM by mooncurls31 http://bit.ly/2G66Fpa
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