My (F20) boyfriend (M 21) gets extremely angry when helping me at the gym/working out. Is this normal?

We've been together just under a year, and I very much love him. I tore my ACL playing soccer and am in physical therapy right now to get my full range of motion back. I'm at about 90% but I haven't done my normal gym routine in a long time and it's been hard getting back into it. For New Years, my resolution has been to get back into my normal routine and my plan was to hire a personal trainer because I know how difficult it's going to be on my own. BF graciously insisted he would be my personal trainer and help me through the process 100%. FYI we are both athletes for our school and BF has hopes to become professional, so the gym isn't new to us. However, we have almost never worked out together because A) I go to spa lady which is an all women gym, and B) we both prefer being alone at the gym. It's sort of our therapeutic "me time" if you will for both of us.

Today was our first "session" at his gym - and I'm pretty shaken up. It started off fine, we were both so excited and we fun plans to reward ourselves after. About 5 minutes into it however, he started yelling at me to motivate me and push me further, I guess. I kept telling him to be quiet and that there were people around, but that only made him angrier. He kept telling me how much of a loser I am and I look like a "fucking monster" as efforts to push me harder. He said he feels repulsed to have sex with me and if I don't finish this set, he'll cheat. At that point, I couldn't take it anymore and burst into tears and he threw my water bottle because I gave up. I told him I only gave up because of the horrible things he said and he said he couldn't believe I was taking any of that seriously. I've never seen him like this and I'm not sure if maybe this is how he thinks trainers act or how his coach speaks to him or something, but in all my years of playing sports, I've never been treated nor seen someone being treated so degradingly.

And here's the real catch: no one in the entire gym said anything. Granted, there weren't many people at the time because it's the first day of the New Year and people were probably hungover (this is our university gym), but the people who were there didn't give a shit. Everyone just went about doing their own thing and yes, we got a few looks, but that's it. So is this normal?? If this were my gym, people would definitely step in I think, at least I know my friends and I would. I'm seriously considering breaking up with him over this, and that breaks my heart because I've never met someone who makes me as happy as he does. Is this an early sign that he may not be who I think he is and that the relationship is doomed? Any perspective would be amazing.

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TL;DR: My boyfriend, who takes fitness very seriously, offered to help me get back into my normal regimen after not working out for a year. I think he took it too far as he said extremely hurtful things as a way to motivate me, and when called out on it, he said its no big deal and normal.

Submitted January 01, 2019 at 09:50PM by whatevermiranda http://bit.ly/2R3NtiC