I M[22] just found out that my girlfriend of 3 years [27] had been cheating on me with a supervisor at work

Honestly, I don't know what to do, I feel so betrayed and so hurt. I had been dating this woman for the better part of three years, and no, we hadn't had a perfect relationship for that timeframe, but we were at a point where I had become adamant that even though I was younger, I had enough love for her that I would commit everything that I had to her to make her life and mine what we both had dreamed that it could be. I don't have much yet, but for years she had told me that I was the love of her life and that she loved me for who I am and the care I showed her.

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For the past while as I have been in school in a neighboring city (working towards a policing career) without a vehicle, she had commuted to see me frequently and had voiced how she found this unfair. So I had begun traveling back to see her and try to make her as happy as she made me. I had felt a strange strain in our relationship, but I assumed that it had to do with the distance, and I wanted to make sure that it was no longer a worry for her. This past weekend, whilst she was staying over with my family at my home she'd hopped into the shower for a moment, and while I was sitting there, a text popped up on her phone, I trusted her fully, but seeing a heart pop up in the corner of the message, I was too curious not to check. The text had come from a number named after a female cousin of hers, but evidently, as I read the text, I could tell that it certainly hadn't come from her. "Hey baby, I'm coming back from shoppers, do you want me to pick up anything for you on the way home <3?" (something along those lines). Immediately I asked her to come out of the shower, I needed her to explain this, but as soon as she stepped out and I saw her freeze, I knew she had been lying to me.

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She tried to convince me for a moment that this was her cousin, and that she had no idea why she would talk like that. But it didn't take long for her to stop trying to con me any further. She told me that she had begun seeing a supervisor at her work, and for the past two weeks had been seeing him during the weekday evenings and then lying to him to go see me on the weekends. My heart broke, and I didn't know what to do. I tried to stay calm, I had to sit through a family dinner with her just a short time later, but I needed more time to figure out what to do. I loved her, more than anything, and I told her that if she'd drive me to my student home, she could spend the night and we'd figure out what our next steps were.

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The next day came and after her reassuring me that she did actually love me and that she had made a mistake. I made the condition that she needed to tell this other man what had happened and end it with him, she was concerned for her job, and I understood that, but this needed to stop if there was any chance for our future. She goes to work, and early in the morning whilst I'm in my lecture, she tells me that she told him everything, that she was scared and she thought that he was going to hurt her. Apparently, she'd told him that she'd cheated on him and he had essentially told her to stay at her desk and wait for him and whatever retribution he would bring. I confirmed with her that he had heard what was going on, and I decided that to try to ease the situation I would try to speak with him as well to make sure she wasn't hurt or abused. I had found out his social media the night before when my girlfriend told me who he was, so I sent him a quick message to call me and that I wanted to speak with him and get full transparency, he asked me about what, and I said "her".

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Moments after asking for him to call me, I get a barrage of texts from my girlfriend calling me every name under the sun, saying that she was going to handle it (apparently he had sent a screen cap of my request to her). Ignoring that, I picked up the incoming call from the other man. He asks me what this is about, and I pose "So has she talked to you about anything today?". She had told him that morning that the reason she hadn't spoken to him over the weekend was that she was taking care of an ill family member. She had lied to him, and I now realized why she was so upset with me. I proceeded to tell this man every detail that I had picked up, his text that I had intercepted, the fact that we were both being lied to, and everything about my relationship with this woman. After a short and rather pleasant talk, he thanked me for speaking to him and getting the truth to him (we've spoken briefly past this point just to get some form of closure). Immediately I call my girlfriend; she had run from the office to her car and was driving home from the location, screaming at me about how I'd ruined her life, making suicidal threats and berating me. I must admit, at this point, I was furious, I couldn't believe that she'd lied to me again, even after I'd given her a chance to be forgiven and try to find a way to make this work, she'd decided that she would try to lie her way out.

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Fast forward through more screaming; I've been blocked on every social media possible, phone numbers, friends phone numbers, everything. I don't know how to feel right now, I went from thinking we had some form of true love to not knowing how shes ever felt about me in moments, and now I have no possible way to get any closure. I don't think that there were any lies between us previously, but I feel like the last three years of my life have been tainted, and every memory that had made me feel something now makes my chest feel like it's caving in. She's a frequent reader of this subreddit, and if I'm being honest, I wish that she reads this and can maybe tell me why, and what feelings led her to this, but most of all, I just need some support, I don't know how to get through this and I feel like I'm falling apart. I've lost 9 pounds in 2 days and I can't keep food down, I don't know what to do anymore.

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TL;DR

My girlfriend lied profusely to both of us and had a relationship going on with another man and I and when given the opportunity to come clean to try to save what we could, she tried to lie again. I've been blocked on everything possible and I am heartbroken.

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Submitted January 29, 2019 at 02:10PM by CarterJForbes http://bit.ly/2HEWbQ3