I [23F] had an awful experience at my job and am having difficulty opening up again to my husband [24M]

Hey everyone.

I recently graduated from college, moved to a new city, and started a new job.

I worked there a week before my boss hit on me. He was in control of whether or not I was hired, my promotions, and giving feedback to the CEO. He also made me promise not to tell anyone for fear he may not get promoted, but took me to his house to drink and smoke weed while attempting to touch me in a sexual way. At this job we carpooled from the office to the field so he would just drive to his house instead of the location we were meant to be. The first time coworkers were there and the next time it was just us.

I have come clean to my husband about the entire experience and since told my boss that the job wasn’t for me and stepped down from my position. For obvious reasons, my anxiety is piqued. I almost feel like I betrayed my husband though I stopped my bosses advances and my husband has been so understanding. He trusts me and is just trying to help me cope.

The reason I am posting is because today my husband says he feels like a part of me died after having those encounters with my boss. It’s true I haven’t felt myself, but I didn’t realize that he could see that about me. I am having difficulty opening up about it because I feel like a failure. I want to provide for my husband and help us achieve our financial goals, but I have a nagging feeling of hopelessness right now.

Will my next boss hire me because they are attracted to me? Will I ever stop feeling disgusted that he touched me?

I’m not sure how to move forward and I wish I could feel normal with my husband again. It feels like I betrayed him and I can’t shake this feeling of guilt.

I know I just need to make small steps to reconnect, but I am not sure where to start.

TL;DR: my boss made unwanted advances towards me and I am having issues reconnecting to my husband without feeling disgusted with myself.

Submitted January 29, 2019 at 09:33AM by snowqueensam http://bit.ly/2sRElPo