My boyfriend (28 m) and I (31 f) haven been together for 2.5 years. We moved in together in August and I'm having a nervous breakdown.
I have struggled with addiction and a loss in the past and (at least partly) due to that, I'm very focused on my mental health, having hobbies, reading, going to therapy, keeping a schedule, etc. My boyfriend has helped me through a lot and I love him dearly.
However, since moving in together the dynamic in our relationship has changed a lot. I began to notice, as I dramatically shifted to a motivated homemaker and working on myself, that he has become more and more.. Lifeless?
He has no hobbies, except for video games, but as we have no PC, he can't do that. So whenever he has free time that I don't "force" him to do something else, he keeps scrolling the Internet and watching TV. Nothing else.
I'm starting to feel like everything he does outside of that is because I make him. Like grocery shopping ("we can just whatever, we don't have to put so much work into it" ) to cleaning ("it's not a life or death thing") to cooking (he'd cook, but only instant soup) to.. Everything.
I find myself working towards a future family, always learning something, cooking new things, cleaning, organising everything (appointments, repairs, everything). While he just goes along, but it's like I'm dragging him into all of this. Like he just wants to watch TV all day.
I've tried talking to him about it, but he just says he's overwhelmed. But I'm doing 3/4 of the chores and work full time (as does he). I've tried to get him to go to therapy, but if he doesn't want it, it won't help. He can't even say what about the 3 chores per week he does is overwhelming.
I want to be cooler about it, like not care so much what he does with his life. Its his life. I don't want to drag him along all the time.
How can I let go of this need to manage him?
Tldr: boyfriend only wants to watch TV and is overwhelmed, I feel like I'm dragging him into this family-life that he doesn't want and I just want to be less stressed about it all.
Submitted November 23, 2022 at 01:24PM by doable505 https://ift.tt/UqZegAV
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