I (36M) really feel like I've really not been heard or supported from my wife (36F) or anyone else in my life right now. The weight is getting to be too much, what can I do?

A lot of this is me needing to talk this out, but I really need advice with all of it too.

Lately I have just felt really forgotten, neglected or even abused in some respects by just about everyone in my life. It's gotten pretty rough and I really don't know what to do about it.

First off is my wife. I love her dearly but I just don't feel like I occupy much of her bandwidth these days. She recently took a new job that has taken up a lot of her time, usually around 60 hours a week. I love that she loves her job and is really dedicated, but I don't really feel like I get much of her.

She doesn't want to talk about work once she gets home, and really doesn't seem to want to talk about much at all. She's always exhausted and barely can hold a conversation, much less spend time with me going out or anything. Whenever I've tried to walk on eggshells and have a conversation about it with her, she finds ways to go through some mental gymnastics and make me feel guilty for even bringing it up. A big part of the problem is I can't really in good conscience really push things with her because she lost her mom in a car accident last year and she is still clearly dealing with a LOT in terms of that. I still feel a a need to be selfless and be her emotional punching bag because of that, but I still know I need to respect myself. I just don't know the line.

There are a lot of people I probably could talk with about this with my wife but I really can't, I have kind of an internal principal that I don't talk negatively about my wife to anyone. I just don't think it would be very respectful to her to take that conversation to anyone else, but having that sort of principal has made me feel really alone to not even have anyone to speak with about it.

My situation with my best friend / adopted little sister has been tough lately too. She's going through some self destructive habits and is putting a good situation in her life at risk. Both our mom and my wife are concerned for her but no one can really talk with her about it because she has a temper problem and will blow up about it. It distresses me because I want to spend time with her and help her out but I can't really do much other than watch her crash and burn and hope she learns out of it. It's also a bummer because my wife and I think the world of her but I also feel like she's taking us for granted a little bit and is sometimes unintentionally a little rude to us.

I'm really disappointed to have not felt really supported in my professional life lately as well. Long story short, I work for NASA and I have had a tiny, tiny bit of work that I've done for the Artemis mission that recently launched to the Moon. This is probably the greatest week of my life when it comes to accomplishing something in my career but it just feels like no one cares.

I've been so excited to tell anyone who will listen about how the flight and mission is going, but it just seems like no one is that excited about the mission or for me having contributed to it. I've been waiting years for this rocket and capsule to finally fly and it just feels like such a letdown that no one is really that excited about it or cares what I have to say about the success of so many people that worked so hard on it.

Maybe the worst thing in the last week or so is dealing with my estranged mom. She has always been manipulative and really difficult to deal with and she came into my life like a bull in a china shop this week. She makes things really difficult on me so I am not in a rush to go out of my way to see her, and I am especially not in a hurry to get my wife near her when she already has a lot on her plate. This last week she called me up just to chew me out for going to see my wife's dad and my niece and nephew for Thanksgiving instead of her, even though I am still dropping by to visit the day before.

I just feel so rotten from all of this.

I've worked really hard in recent months to get a better handle on my mental health and I think I've done good. I no longer dwell on stuff too long and force myself into getting into a negative spiral. I also look at these problems from a distance and try to let my emotions pass and all of that.

But it's still so tough, all of this stuff and other things I haven't even mentioned are such a huge weight and I feel like I have it all on myself because all of the people I should be close with aren't close right now. I just don't really feel heard or supported at all recently. I hate to even take the time to write all of this out, but I realize I just can't bottle it up forever.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do here? How can I connect better with my wife through her long hours? How can I help my bff / sister through her issues and get her to be kinder to me? How can I get my awful mom off of my back? I really could use some friendly advice and help badly. I am so exhausted of feeling this isolated and alone.

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tl;dr: I'm going through a really tough time right now, I don't feel supported by anyone and I don't feel heard. Everyone who should be close to me in my life is making themselves distant and I just feel so isolated and alone. I really want to get close again to people like my wife and sister and I wish that people would just listen to me or be more supportive. How can I get there?

Submitted November 20, 2022 at 09:37PM by CatterLicked https://ift.tt/3azDMHq