My [22M] [55M] father admitted to cheating on my [55F] mother and I refuse to acknowledge him despite my mother's wishes

About two months ago I caught my father having a midnight, drunken conversation with a woman, saying things like

"You're the love of my life"

"I knew from the moment I first touched you"

"I'll see you soon"

(You can check my profile to see a post in more detail)

He then went overseas for a "business" trip that lasted around two months. I spent the time trying to figure out my best course of action, which I determined was to confront him when he returned.

What ended up happening was he denied everything. It went so far as to me telling him to look me in the eyes and promise me he didn't cheat on my mother, which he obliged. I, however, didn't believe him one bit.

I woke up the next morning to my mother crying and screaming at my father. I assumed that he realized how much shit he was in and finally confessed, but it turns out that my mother found another woman's hair all over my father's clothes, and even still he initially tried to deny it, until eventually admitting to his actions.

My mother told me after some reflection that she loves my father too much, and plans to stay with him. Although I didn't agree with this sentiment, I kept quiet and supported her fully. Since that night where I confronted him, I haven't said a word to my father. My mother wants that to change, but I couldn't, and still can't do it. My father lied to my face, and I have the strong belief that he is still withholding information. He told my mother the affair was a spur of the moment thing, yet the phone call I overheard which he continues to deny remembering makes me believe that this was premeditated. He admitted to my mother that he has a drinking problem (which we were both well aware of), and that he is going to attend AA meetings. I personally believe this was done solely to gain sympathy from my mother, as one of the first things he did when he came home was crack open a beer. Also, he texted me apologizing for lying to my face, claiming he wanted to tell my mother first. This is BS because he only told my mother after she confronted him. Plus, the day he returned (before I confronted him), he made reservations for my mom's birthday dinner. If I was going to admit to my wife I had an affair, I'd cease all planning and prepare for the worst. Not to mention he came home acting like how he did after all his other business trips, all jolly and nonchalant.

All in all, my mom sees a man who feels remorse and wants to change. I see a man who was caught and is frantically trying to reconstruct the pieces he shattered. I see my mom as blinded by love, unable to see (what I interpret as), my father's true colors. I worry that my mom sees me as a bitter son who refuses to let bygones be bygones and isn't allowing the rift between my family to heal.

TLDR: I caught my dad cheating on my mother. She eventually found out. She decided to forgive him. I am struggling to do the same.

Submitted November 24, 2022 at 09:42PM by Willing_Act5506 https://ift.tt/tNjOsCy