Hello, everyone! This situation is complicated at best, so thank you for reading in advance.
I am developing my career in a city that is very exciting and up-and-coming. My boss and I have a very real opportunity to make a massive difference where we are, and things are going great for us!
Dating has been difficult for me in this area of the world. I am an intellectual, and most single men out here are lacking in even a High School degree. I have been trying very hard to meet people out here, and take them at their worth, but it is frustrating that a lot of them can't hold a deep conversation or even have the desire to have one. I meet lots and lots of lady friends because of what I do for a living, but meeting men who are educated is hard, and a lot of the time, they leave for greener pastures, or don't share my interests.
Enter Nick.
Nick worked temp as a Park Ranger, and our chemistry was almost immediate. I caught him checking me out at an outdoor event, and found an excuse to see a theater performance with him. We got along like gangbusters, and it was amazing!! We hung out once a week, almost, but knowing we had a deadline. I sort of propositioned him through text, and he claimed he wasn't in the headspace to do stuff at the moment, which I respected very much and we remained friends, with continued chemistry. We both dated other people, but there was always that spark there.
He got a permanent position at another national park 14 hours' drive away, and I am genuinely happy for him. We kept in touch.
Now, things changed (he claims) when he had an erotic dream about me. When discussing said dream, I mentioned that I had never been to his new state of residence, and I would like to do so for my birthday, which is a national holiday that I like to spend exploring a new place. He jumped at an invitation to see him and hang out! Also, he mentioned that we could possibly potentially hook up on my birthday, which is around Christmas. We agreed after some deep conversations that we could be open to that possibility, but that both of us do not want a long-term long-distance relationship. We care very deeply about one another, and have been totally transparent about where we both stand on this. This seems so perfect--carnal pleasures with someone I care so deeply about, and who cares about me just as much. I am so happy he took me up on my proposition, and I know that physically, things will go very well!
However, in my last phone conversation with him, he told me that he was a virgin and had never had a blow job before. I was stunned. He and I definitely relate on an adult level, and he is emotionally mature for his age for sure. I told him how many partners I had had (around 10), and he thought at first that was the total number of times I had had sex. Nope. Everyone I've been with had a future potential relationship/current relationship with me. I don't do one night hookups. I am not capable of that (although I wish I was sometimes). I don't feel as though my number is very high for my age, but I suppose it is to him. Anyway.
He is "online dating," and I am, too, and we are very open and honest with one another about how that's going in both of our lives. This potential triste would be merely carnal, but with someone that we both care deeply about. He says "it is time" for him, like Rafiki; I also want to satiate that need for myself, as it has been a few months for me since I've been with anyone. Neither of us has had a FWB thing before with anyone, but we are both willing and eager to try it.
My question is: should I? He is over 12 years younger than I am, and has zero idea how sex will affect his emotions. If I "deflower" him, is that as huge of a deal for men as it is for us women? Is this too risky? Above everything, I don't want to hurt him, but we agreed that we would not be in a relationship if this happens.
TL;DR: How do I navigate a FWB situation when we live far apart and agree there are no strings, but he is a virgin?
Edit: I guess I just wanna know if I am some sort of gross, predatory cougar.
Submitted November 12, 2022 at 11:29PM by Schmendrick-_- https://ift.tt/yg7jUQY
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