I had my first real fight with my boyfriend and now I’m not sure how to feel about it and our relationship in general

Tldr: Boyfriend got upset when I told him I felt ignored and it didn’t go well now im not so sure about us in general

So couple of days ago I had my first real first argument with my boyfriend after telling him I felt ignored. He didn’t like it and we both lost our temper at the time. Since he had been off so I sent him “I don’t want us to fight about this” text last night of which he replied he too don’t but he has felt have more than one occasion “doubted, under suspicion or told I caused hurt when I don’t know what happened.” Of which I replied “im sorry you had felt that. Is there anything i can do to make u feel less of that?”

He replied me this and I’m quoting him again “It’s not about asking anyone to change or do this or that. You speak your mind and that’s good. We met about 2 years ago. Before that I’ve been out of any relationship of any kind for 8 years. I don’t want to feel like I’m ever explaining myself or answering to anyone. My heart is clean that’s all I know”

I just said ok thank you and goodnight as I didn’t want to say anything and particularly start another fight

But the last paragraph especially the part of “answering to anyone” felt bit off to me

Bit of context he is 43, Im 36. We have known each other for 2 years. First we were just friends but became very close and started dating about 7 months ago. Now I’m writing this I don’t even know what type of advice I’m looking for but i guess how would you feel being told that? Is it a red flag, amber maybe? I’m honestly seriously questioning it all now. I’m not sure if I’m over reacting thou

Also the part where he mentioned that he was told he had caused “hurt” I didn’t even need to ask him he is referring to what as the only time i told him that i was hurt is when my little boy was in hospital very ill. At the time we spoke and told him he had surgery 3 days ago and he was “im so sorry” and didn’t hear from him again from him for almost 3 days before messaging him to tell him we were out of hospital and how I felt “hurt” that u couldn’t spare even 2 seconds to ask how he was doing cos of course that doesn’t take much anyone’s time.

And now I have just been told “I don’t want to answer to anyone”! Yes me too but then again when it comes to relationship i do make compromises and care what I have made my partner felt

When we were friends it was perfect now there’s feelings involved it had been different especially on my part. Any advice appreciated

Submitted November 17, 2022 at 04:35AM by introverth https://ift.tt/NryTF1G