Me and my (21M x 6) friends go out to bars on weekends.
On Friday, we were leaving the bars walking back to one of the friends apartment "Oscar" who is the only one to have an apartment within walking distance of downtown. they were talking about swimming 2 miles the next day and calling it a "twoski". I asked what that is and Oscar and Elmo said "he doesn't know what a twoski is" and then they both started running back to the apartment and the third, grover, just ran along too. I didn't because my back hurt which they knew already although they were all intoxicated and I wasn't because I was extraordinarily high on MJ and not having a good time due to that.
So I figured they would wait at the door for me but no, my phone was dead and I was stuck outside at 2 am and forgotten about. I finally got in after 10 minutes and they didn't even remember I left the bars with them although they did apologize, but jokingly when i said it was over the twoski question Oscar said their actions were understandable which irritated me on the inside.
The next day i was with my family so I came to dinner downtown late, the plan was to then go back to apartment to drop stuff off and then go back out. I had to get by bag from my car with presents for them all because I was out shopping and saw some beer themed socks so i got everyone a pair since they all love beer.
My car is about a 13 min walk there and back total so I understood no one would wanna go so I said "aight gonna head to my car to get my bag"
and Oscar said "good luck with that bud"
and that was irritating since its kinda sarcastic for no reason. so I said
" thanks I wasn't asking you to go btw"
and he said
"no doubt pal" so I said "you aren't getting your socks then" and he said he didn't care.
anyway I get by bag from my car and head back and Im waiting to get let into the building because of course no one cared to make sure I got in, I also didn't text to be let in so that was probably wrong but also the lobby generally has lots of people inside so I thought it would be quick.
Oscar then calls and says they are at the shortcut entrance going through the woods and asking where I am. Im super pissed at this point because they knew I was getting by bag and Had to put it in his apartment first so I just said "got my bag I have to put in your apartment still" and then hung-up, he called back and said "if you let me finish I was gonna say what door" I told him the door and he hung-up.
I got let in by someone else and Elmo texted the group-chat warning me that the apartment door was locked and I just said
"figured" which could be seen as rude I guess, and then Oscar just said "soft" so I guess he was calling me soft
anyway I was in the hallway bout to get on the elevator and Oscar entered the hallway, about a half a football-field long, and the elevator came so I got in and pressed 3. He doesn't use the elevator so i thought that was okay, I heard him say "alright bud bye" and then I waited at his door to be let in for 5 mins, thinking the others would convince him to turn back and then I said "aight bro guess ur gonna be a B**ch" thinking he would air out his grievances but then he said "lol" "real" so I left the friend groupchat since no one bothered to defend me or tell me to come anyway.
A friend that didn't walk with us and went another route texted me to come to the bar after I was already back hime and I said
"Im already home, Oscar doesn't care or think about other people"
I dont think he does, these two instances show that as well as stuff like the whole group wanting to watch tv or a movie and instead we have to listen to music and watch him play call of duty, or jsut listen to music, or stay at a bar that we all wanna leave and since he wants to stay the others just back down and then we have to stay. its annoying, idk why the others are like whipped dogs.
- The other day Grover who is new to the group commented on how we always just do what Oscar wants to do, and grover is closer to Oscar than he is to me so I didn't comment my opinion but looking back I wish I did.
Anyway, I know my actions, especially leaving the groupchat, were childish and I want to make up with them but I feel like I was the one wronged so its not on me as well, but I dont have other close friends that I hangout with really, just like extended friends like in clubs and classes and Im a senior in college. I still have to get my headphones from him and give his hat back and I said that we should just leave them in the hallway and do the swap and he sarcastically said
"glad we can handle this like adults" so I guess they are expecting me to be the mature one? they all should have apologized the morning after in my opinion besides the one who texted me after.
- In the passed when i fueled with Oscar we didn't talk for 2 months and then he texted me that he missed hanging with me.
- Additionally I just got off antidepressants cold turkey about a week and a half ago, dont know if thats relevant, Crying about once or twice a day since
- Me and Oscar have been best-friends for 6 years, he has slowly gotten more and more self centered and rude. Like will had someone his drink to throw away even if they are both the same distance apart from the trashcan, or command someone to turn off the light even when they are both on the coach, and not nicely either, I mentioned how he does this to the others and he just said "yeahh lmaoo isnt it funny" or something like that
TLDR
wondering what I should do in conflict with friend group, I feel I am in the right and was treated unfairly.
Submitted November 07, 2022 at 03:39PM by TrainingSoft4709 https://ift.tt/kMBY8iw
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