My mother is depressed because my stepfather died, and her life is falling apart. I don't know what to do about it.

My mom and my stepfather were married for 14 years. He passed away two years ago. My mother is a successful hairstylist who has owned her own business for 19 years and has made it work. She has been in massive debt and has filed for bankruptcy multiple times. She has been sued for tax evasion and has been sued for not paying her employees several times. She was kicked out of her downtown storefront building about a year and a half ago, and now has a large, three-story building in a bad, low-traffic suburban area off of a three-way intersection that she also lives in because she lost the two-story house she had been rented for 7 years.

She is clearly depressed. She is completely alone with her dog. She (49) is now dating a 26-year-old Iranian military guy that she met while on a trip to Turkey. She also refuses help and is very arrogant and self-assured at times. Overall she is a friendly woman and she cares about me, but she treated me like absolute crap as a child (I had no education, was raised in Scientology, and she blamed me and my younger brother for her problems often). Also, due to Scientology (which is extremely expensive), my mom refuses any other form of mental health assistance as it is demonized in Scientology.

I am a compassionate man. I worry about my mother and her future constantly. I talk to her weekly. I am also a person who suffers from occasional periods of mild psychosis and bout of severe depression, and I tend to live in state of constant anxiety. I often feel trapped and like I need to be free. I DREAD the idea of my mother living with me. I'm 27, in college and I work full-time. I have ambitions. I live alone in a decent apartment and make a low middle-class wage ($45k in Tampa). I cannot bear the idea of becoming my mother's caretaker in the next 5-10 years.

What can I do now to set her up to be independent in the future?

TLDR: My step-father died, and my mom's life has deteriorated since. I couldn't handle the burden of caring for her for the rest of my life since we are both still young and she refuses help. How do I help her prepare for the future?

Submitted November 21, 2022 at 06:19PM by friendshan https://ift.tt/JsNr3nZ