Hi all,
Just need some advice on a recent argument me and my partner had 2 nights ago that is bugging me and need another opinion on it.
The argument had started as it was initially starting out as a discussion about us needing to spend more quality time together, this then transpired to a more heated discussion.
Throughout this discussion I had kept my voice at a similar level and discussed, making a point not to shout, raise my voice, talk over my partner and attempt to listen to them. However, when I then tried to talk, my partner would get progressively louder and interrupt me. Which in turn got me frustrated as this went on.
Once we had calmed down and were discussing things, my partner made statements about me being defensive and was quick to point out my actions through the argument, which I took in and apologised.
I then proceeded to say about my partner raising there voice as I was talking, as it makes me uncomfortable to try and talk and to be honest comes across as disrespectful when I have the courtesy to listen to them.
They then proceeded to tell me that they won’t micro-manage who they are and as my partner is mixed race, they stated that this was within her culture to be this loud and be perceived as aggressive, using examples such as Asian people being more timid whereas Italian people being more loud as an example, these are all examples used by partner above.
After this was said I was hesitant about this behaviour as I don’t want to come across as ignorant or racist, but I feel like I need to point out behaviour that appears disrespectful. She stated that with me ignoring this I was coming across as basically racist in wanting to impose her to be more calmer when discussing things.
For reference I am a white male and my partner is a mixed race female (half Jamaican half English). And we’ve been together for 5 years.
I’m unsure on how to approach this issue moving forward or even if it is an issue and if it’s just me.
Any help would be appreciated, I need to know, am I being ignorant when it comes to race? Is my partner being unreasonable or disrespectful based on the evidence?
TLDR: I asked my partner to not interrupt,talk over and raise there voice when arguing, which in turn then made my partner state that this within her culture to be like this way and will not change, am I being ignorant or is my partner being disrespectful?
Submitted October 12, 2022 at 08:55AM by kingoflimbs93 https://ift.tt/4pFNQzq
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