Hey everyone! I’m looking for advice on a sort of wacky situation I’m in.
I (21f) have been dating my boyfriend (23 m) for a little over a year. For discretion purposes we will call him B. We are long distance due to him being in the military and he recently returned from a 10 month long deployment. We only casually dated before he left, so he didn’t really get a chance to meet any of my friends. He’s back now, and we became serious during his deployment. He’s gotten to meet all of my family and one of my best friends. Everyone loves him and I can’t wait for him to meet all the rest of my favorite humans.
Here in lies the issue. My other best friend (20f), we shall call her M, is dying to meet him. So is her boyfriend (19M), we are gonna call him A. Well at the beginning of their relationship I really liked A (they’ve been together for about a year as well). He seemed cool and funny and I could obviously tell he really liked M. Then he started acting… different. They moved in together, spent all their time together, and even worked together. At first I thought I was just jealous so I ignored the “I don’t like him” feelings. I had hyped him up so much to my friend because I did like him a whole lot more than her ex boyfriend who was terrible. Recently A has just been mean, immature, and kinda an a-hole. He’s the kind of guy who will make fun of you and call that humor. Well I never let M know about my change in opinion, mostly because I felt I was too late to do so, since they had already moved in together and were in too deep and she seemed happy. A few more things have happened that I won’t get into just for the sake that this is feeling like I’m writing too much.
Well anyways A and M are both psyched to meet B. Only thing is, while B was on deployment we talked about pretty much every detail of everything. Emails and phone calls as much as possible. I complained about A many times to B, and based on the stories I told him and the way he treated M, B already didn’t like him. We ran into them momentarily at a football game and B decided A seemed cool enough to tolerate and his opinion soothed a little bit. I didn’t like A very much but for my friends sake I tolerated him. I was glad that B would be able to tolerate him as well because we would have to hang out as a group at least once because I love M dearly.
That changed quickly too, after the game M facetimed us and A was in the background. She wanted to make future plans on the four of us hanging out. During the call A chimed in and said something along the lines of “B you are so cool. I totally thought you were going to be a douche bag”. That extremely bothered my boyfriend and he decided again that he definitely won’t be friends with A. I agreed and said don’t worry I won’t make us all hang out.
Another situation happened in their relationship where A acted in a verge toxic manner and I expressed to M how his behavior wasn’t right and she didn’t deserve to be treated that way. My boyfriend was on the phone when it happened and so he got all the “piping hot tea” as M calls it. B decided ever further that A wasn’t the kinda guy he wanted to hang around and I honestly don’t blame him. Since they started dating I have barely gotten to see M and it makes me sad but if I’m hanging out with her, she always brings A.
That was all a few weeks ago. Now A and M are planning a friendsgiving and invited me and my boyfriend. Luckily for B, he won’t be able to make it due to work, but I feel a little guilty because M mentioned to me how much A loves my boyfriend and thinks he’s the coolest and wants to be bros. She and A have no idea that B and I don’t really like A all that much.
Does anyone have advice? Not too sure what to do about the situation if anyone has any advice on how to go about things like this? Should I tell M that’s my boyfriend doesn’t like hers? Do I just tolerate the situation still and try to keep B from having to be around A? I just have no idea.
TLDR; my boyfriend doesn’t like my best friends boyfriend and they have no idea. my best friends boyfriend REALLY likes my boyfriend. I don’t think I can keep them apart for ever. what should I do?
Submitted October 24, 2022 at 04:34PM by hotgirlslovepickles https://ift.tt/0x8EM7F
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