My husband and I have been together for 5 years. We have 1 child (F3) together. My ex and I have been divorced 6 years and we share 50/50 custody of our child (F5). He moved to our city about 6 months ago.
My ex asks for help quite a bit. He's pretty lazy when it comes to our daughter. Doesn't make her lunch, help with HW, brush her teeth or her hair. I buy her clothes. I hold her insurance. I do all the appts. I drop her off/pick her up from school on his time because of his work schedule (which I don't mind). He's the "fun dad" but not really the "responsible dad" so I do carry his slack which is annoying, but I do it for her. Im bound by a court order so I HAVE to share custody, but I also refuse to let her go without so I deal with it.
This makes my husband upset, understandably, but I can't get him to understand that I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it for her. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. I know that I'm enabling him, but I also know that if I stop, he still won't do his part. He doesn't care if her hair gets knotted, if her teeth rot, if she wears decent clothes or falls behind in class. Am I supposed to just let it happen?
My husband wants me to stop helping. He wants my ex to step up and so do I, but I know he won't. He feels like my responsibility should be caring for him and I do. I pick up his slack too, ironically. I do 99% of the parenting. For years I carried his slack, but he acts like because we're married it's okay. It's not. Im tired of carrying the slack, but I do it because someone has to. I can't just not take care of my kids.
Am I in the wrong here? What can I do?
TLDR My husband is threatening to leave me if I don't stop helping my ex husband with our daughter.
Submitted October 21, 2022 at 11:23PM by TheDancinSkeleton https://ift.tt/mZyx5Bs
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