My family aren't inviting my fiancé for Christmas because we're both men. I'm not sure how to raise it with him.

Tldr: My family are uncomfortable that I'm in a relationship with a man. He's not invited for Christmas, obviously this means I won't be going either but I don't know how to explain to him without hurting him or making him feel guilty.

My fiancé and I are men in our early 30s. He's the first man I've had feelings for or been in a serious relationship with which could be relevant. We were friends first and my family LOVED him. They actually invited him for Christmas when we were friends so I know this isn't about anything other than disapproving of our relationship.

Christmas is a big deal in my family, the whole extended family is there including partners. I automatically assumed my partner would be there. My family were awkward about our relationship at first but I really thought they were coming around. However, my mum (who always hosts) has told me he isn't invited because older relatives wouldn't be comfortable and it might ruin the day. I'm from quite a typical african family and they aren't exactly open-minded. My parents aren't too bad but they are very image-conscious. My siblings are a mixed bag.

My fiancé and I haven't really discussed Christmas so it's not as though I'd told him he's coming and he was excited about it or anything. I was kind of excited though. I'm disappointed that it won't be happening but I'm even more disappointed that my family don't accept us. Obviously I'm not going without him. I told my mum this but she thinks I'm being silly and will change my mind.

I don't know how to tell my fiancé. He's going to be so hurt and when I tell him I'm not going either he's going to feel guilty. Any time my friends or family have had an issue with us being together, he's just ended up feeling bad because he feels like he's causing problems in my relationships. I know he's going to say he wants me to go to my family Christmas without him. Christmas is already a difficult time for him because he has no family, literally none. I think this situation is going to make him feel even worse.

I don't know what the best way is to handle it. I don't think there's any way to avoid hurting him but I want to at least make it easier on him. I was wondering about us maybe going away somewhere but that might make him feel guilty too. Any advice would be appreciated.

Submitted October 29, 2022 at 04:36AM by Obvious_Bill_7826 https://ift.tt/AciPgKm