I'm 31 years old, my fiancée (we'll call her Sarah) is 30 and my little sister (we'll call her Isabella) is 12. Unfortunately our mother died when Isabella was only 4, car crash with death on impact. My father never wanted a daughter, and he has 4 sons (me included) so the day my mom died was the day he started ignoring my sister. He'll constantly scream at Isabella, treat her awfully and never cared about hurting her feelings. Sarah and I (23 & 22 at the time) began rasing her on our own, bathing her, feeding her, giving her all the love she deserves and being the family/parents she needed in her life. Sarah and I love Isabella with all our hearts, like our own daughter. The day my mom died, was the day I knew I had to step up and protect Isabella.
I proposed to Sarah a month ago and also moved into our new home. Here's the issue, our new house was an hour away from my sister. She panicked so much, she feared we were going to abandon her & leave her with our dad. I was never going to do that, as my fiancée and I actually had plans to have Isabella live with us. That was always the plan. I spoke to my dad and he agreed immediately, which doesn't surprise me as he saw it as finally getting rid of her.
She moved in and she was the happiest girl in the entire world. 3 days into living with us, she confidently asked Sarah and I if she can call us mom and dad. My sister knows our mother is dead, so the fact that she wants to call Sarah "mom" means so much to us. We said yes, no hesitation. Like I said, we love Isabella like if she's our own daughter. She also admitted to being really scared of our dad, that he'll always make her cry and she never wants to go back with her. From this day forward, Isabella became our daughter and I'll never be the man my father is.
Here's why I'm asking this question. My older brother came to visit my new house with his wife, and ended up confronting me privately pretty angry. He said he heard Isabella call Sarah "mom" & that Sarah told her something like "wait for your dad to find it". That's when my brother realized what was going on. He told me I was terrible for letting our sister call us mom and dad, that our mom would be angry and insulted with all of this. "Just wait till dad finds out man, this shit is weird" is what he told me. He also said I was disrespecting our mother, that he thought I loved her but all of this showed that I supposedly didn't at all.
I got pretty angry and said some harsh things. Told him that neither him, any of my other brothers or our dad ever loved Isabella. They ignored her, pushed her aside just because she was a girl and a child. I told him our mother, Sarah and I were the only ones that ever truly loved her. He just continued to insult me, said i needed psychological help for "manipulating" our sister. Eventually he left with his wife and I told Sarah what my brother had said. She told me that the most important thing was not my brother's opinion, but that it was loving and protecting Isabella. Giving her a peaceful home, a beautiful childhood and a family that loves her - that's what's important, not my brother's opinions.
Am I wrong for this? I love Isabella, but the love I have for her isn't a sibling one - I see and love her as a daughter. Sarah and I have even looked into hopefully adopting her, actually making it official on paper that she's our daughter. My brother's comments though have been stuck in my mind. I see nothing wrong at all, but my brother definitely made me feel awful.
I'll love your opinions on this and if you have any advice you'll love to share, I'll really appreciate it very much.
TL;DR: My little sister calls my fiancée and I mom and dad, and my brother confronted me about it. He made me feel awful and now I'm wondering if what I'm doing is wrong.
Submitted October 18, 2022 at 12:15AM by Itchyscratchybutt https://ift.tt/13ohWqM
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