This is something I'm not very comfortable talking about, I hope I won't be judged. Not trying to be dramatic, but I'm typing this with a tear in my eye lol.
I met this woman on Tinder four months ago, she lives in my area. She's really beautiful, she has that Taylor Swift kind of beauty (blonde, tall, very cute face), we had a very good time at dinner, but she turned me down in the end. She said ''I accepted this date because you're a good-looking guy and you look a little older than you are, but I've realized that 19 is too young, I feel it's wrong, I'm sorry'' , but we still stayed friends. She was kind enough to pay for the dinner. We talk and joke about anything, sometimes we text for hours, not every day obviously, but yeah. I have mad respect for this woman.. she's beautiful inside and out, she's intelligent and strong and she's sweet to me. she says she enjoys talking to me because I'm adorable lol and she says that she's happy to know me.
Back story: my father is an alcoholic and my mother has severe mental issues. All my relatives are very distant.. literally distant, they all live in other cities. I basically grew up without parents and without a family, I've always had to provide for myself and learn to be there for myself, I've never received guidance from anyone and I never received affection as a child. I consider myself a functional person though and that's a miracle.. I'm a student, I've had two jobs already, I've been in relationships, and well nobody thinks there's anything wrong with me.
Whenever we meet up, she's kind enough to pay (like, if we meet up to have some coffee at the bar together she'll pay for my coffee) because she knows I'm not independent yet, and she has this attitude like ''whenever you want advice or someone who listens, text me'' which I find very reassuring. I remember, she once said ''text me when you get back home safe'' and I got emotional because these are all little things I grew up without.
She knows my story, and last week I said ''I'm so glad that I met you. You know, I have never had an older person in my life. Yeah I may have friends my age, but that's not the same as someone like you'' and she seemed happy to hear that. I'm not asking if she already knows what I want, you obviously are not her, but do you think that the things I say are clear enough?
The more I talk to her/hang out with her, the more I see a mother figure... and honestly, I really want to tell her how I feel. But I don't know.. I think I'd put her under pressure, and honestly, I'd feel a little pathetic, but I really want this kind of relationship. I no longer see her as a romantic partner, she could even date my best friend and I wouldn't be jealous.. it's something else that I want. What should I do? Should I tell her or is this whole situation already more than enough?
TL;DR I basically grew up without a family. I'm hanging out with an older woman and to me she's like a mother figure
Submitted October 16, 2022 at 08:07PM by throwaway_yt97 https://ift.tt/xTq4JDG
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