TW: Abuse mention
Hello! Me (23, F) and my girlfriend (26, F) have been together for a little over one year. I unfortunately have a lot of trauma surrounding relationships in general because I was in a very abusive relationship for multiple years prior to my current relationship. Recently, my girlfriend will only touch me if she wants to have sex. She’s shared that she just isn’t a physically intimate person and never has been, but she is almost disgusted by me if she isn’t “in the mood.” I recognize this may be my own personal projection from my previous relationship trauma. I’m a really physically affectionate person with romantic partners and I just like to show people how much I love them. I almost feel obligated to participate in sex each time she’s interested because I know I won’t get any affection otherwise, even if I’m not super interested. It’s really affecting my self-esteem, because she pushes me off if I try to kiss or lay on their shoulder for more than a minute or two. Some days are harder than others, but it just has really been making me feel bad about myself.
What would you guys do? Do you think it’s unreasonable for it to hurt my feelings? I don’t want to bring it up if it will just make everything worse and if that is normal but I just want physical affection so bad. She’s a great sexual partner, but sometimes I just feel obligated to participate even if I’m tired, stressed, etc. I think it’s just really affecting how I feel about myself and I just feel a little used, but I know I may also have a skewed relationship with sex.
TL;DR: My (23, F) girlfriend (26, F) is only physically affectionate if she wants to have sex. Is it normal for this to affect my self-esteem so much?
Submitted October 28, 2022 at 10:16PM by No-Asparagus3628 https://ift.tt/4IYjBnh
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