Me M(27) and f(25) have been engaged for the past 3 months. We both come from a south Asian background where family means everything to us.
Some background:
My fiancée is a single child to a single mother, she has been brought up in this mind set. She will do anything for her mother. Her dad is in and out of the picture, he comes and visits time to time, but it is not there for when she needs him. Her mother has a controlling mind set.
What happened:
Around August my fiancée and I started to look for properties for us to move into once we are married. We found one in East London which we both liked and wanted to go ahead with it. When it came to putting down a deposit, she asked her dad and he agreed to give us some money, alongside herself. Also, me and my family were going to help with the deposit but put down more as we are the groom's side. After talking to my fiancée about how we are going to do the monthly repayments, she said she cannot help since she gives her mum money, therefore unable to pay her side of things. Because of this we cannot go ahead with the house that we loved.
Around the 6th of October my family went to her family house to talk about finance and houses, and how both families and support us going forward. Initially my dad started the conversation with how saying can both sides of the family Can support me and my fiancé going forward. Her mother spoke to me and my family in a disrespectful manner, to which we were stunned. Her mother said that she will not support us financially until we are married. She said that she would put her foot down and not give any money towards it.
Fast forward to yesterday and me and my fiancé had a discussion where we both agreed that she will pay half of the bills. But now my parents have given me an ultimatum, either that I stick with my family and leave my fiancé, or I go with my fiancé but get zero support from my family and be kicked out of the house. I have tried to explain to my family that she is willing to change, for the relationship and for us. I could see that she truly does love me and would do anything to keep me in her life. But my parents refused to listen to what I say about this and have only given me till the 2nd of November to decide. What do I do?
Any more questions, please do ask. I know I may have not given a full explanation
TL:DR I have to choose between my fiancee and my family, who have brought me up.
Submitted October 26, 2022 at 05:12AM by SHYBMX https://ift.tt/KeFM2JI
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